Abstract Utopia - I am a Desert.

Utopia is not suitable for family viewing.

August 29, 2006
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Yesterday, my husband was meandering around Target as he tends to do when he gets board. He saw Josie and the Pussycats for $5. This was a cute movie worthy of a $5 expenditure. I was amused by the whole movie and the satire it presented. (And it is a satire suitable to my dark sense of humor. Blue is the new fucking orange and feathers are the new rhinestones. And I want a Snapple.)

Anyway, you know how they put those security tags all over the cases these days. It takes longer to get the damn thing open than to watch the fucking movie. Eventually, we get it open and pop it in. Sitting through the movie, I begin to notice changes. I remember thinking, “Wait a second, that’s not what they said.” This happened several times through the movie and I was immensely confused by it. I was beginning to think my mind was going. I was like damn, it would suck to get dementia at 26.

Anyway, at the end of the movie, I was aggravated with myself because I remembered several things that weren’t in the movie anymore. Toward the end I was like “Fuck, I know Parker Posie didn’t say that.”

I pick up the box to put the movie back in the case and on the front, at the very top, right where the stupid security sticker was, is a little pink strip:

“This movie edited for family viewing.”

God damn it.

I now know why it was $5 and why Target pisses me off. Screw you family super center. Screw you and your security tape cunning. I know they did that shit on purpose.

No one ever pickets against Target, but they should. Bastards.

Posted by Utopia at August 29, 2006 10:21 AM

Comments

Dude!

I didn't know that they did that. That is the stupidest thing I've heard of.

If the movie is inappropriate for my kids, it will still be innappropriate if they say Fudge instead of Fuck.

This fills me with rage. But not as much as when I bought GoodFellas for five bucks, only to find out that I had to put in the Second DVD to see the other half of the movie.

Posted by: jeckles at August 29, 2006 11:40 AM

lol ok sorry this craked me up because my chruch does that. I'm sorry you were a victim of that craziness. Ok sorry I'll stop laughing now.

Posted by: katkat at August 30, 2006 10:56 AM

Wow! I thought only Walmart did that. I fucking hate family fucking friendly shit.

Posted by: Andrea at August 30, 2006 04:45 PM

Gah!! I thought only Blockbuster did that. What a crock of shit. Sounds like it's time to rebel to me. Edit in a whole bunch of curse words before you return it. Tell them that it wasn't "spicy" enough!

Posted by: Binary Blonde at August 31, 2006 01:30 PM

Eeek! I'll have to warn my hubby to look for this. He likes getting movies at target cause they have a longer return period.

Meanile, I hate target because our local target doesn't carry fat pants.

Really, last time I shopped there they only had ONE pair of jeans I could squeeze myself into. INJUSTICE I say. That would never happen at the traM-laW.

Posted by: YummY! at September 5, 2006 09:00 PM

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