Dear Kevin Smith,

I heard this rumor that you're making a Clerks 2.

Somehow, I can't tell if this movie is a joke or not. I am going to guess that it's not. But why Mr.Smith? Why I ask, I beg you to explain it to me. Why must you move our beloved Randal and Dante into a burger joint? How can you make "Chicks with Dicks" jokes if there is no video store? Sure it is Mooby and Mooby is amusing, but going from gas station clerk to Mooby burger jockey? Really now, Dante isn't quite that pathetic. Besides, it's much, much harder to fuck off in a fast food joint. They do expect you to actually work there. I can't see Randal adjusting to such a stringent environment.

I say leave them be. Bring in Leonardo Leonardo from the cartoons because I could really see some uptight prick pulling the true voice of rage, angst and spite out of our intrepid heroes (or slackers, whatever). "Well played clerks, well played."

Some things are just not meant to be. Use that creative noodle of yours. Expand, grow ... don't put poor Dante and Randal in yellow and purple uniforms. Those colors suit no one. Ever. Green polyester is the way to go. I know it's too late to beg and plead. But somehow, in the back of my head, I still pray that this is just some harsh joke you're playing on all of us.

At least film it in fucking black and white.

And make sure there is a joke about that chick who fucked a dead guy.

Weeping quietly in a corner,
Utopia

Posted by Utopia at June 9, 2006 12:10 PM

Comments

Posted by: YummY! at June 10, 2006 07:35 PM

Posted by: YummY! at June 10, 2006 07:37 PM

Posted by: Utopia at June 11, 2006 11:09 AM

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