1. Golf was created on a bar bet by manly, drunk Scots.

2. The potato is one of the Earth’s best and most versatile foods.

3. Very large breasts on a very small frame make you three times more likely to have porn star like qualities.

4. J-Lo, Britteny Spears, and Madonna can’t sing, however, their fine asses make it impossible to discern this fact due to the strange hypnotic quality of their rotational shaking.

5. Oranges have less flavor than they used to.

6. The pandas are going to eat you, the pandas in Central Park.

7. Married people either love weddings or hate them. They love them because of the hot sticky sex they’ll be having later on in reminiscence of their own wedding or they hate them because of the lack of hot, sticky sex they’ll be having in reminiscence of their own wedding.

8. There is a conspiracy to make jeans fall below my ass crack. I blame this on the strange hypnotic quality of the rotational shaking of asses mentioned above.

9. Pre-packaged breakfast foods have the highest caloric density out of all foods.

10. Crack and bacon must have the same addictive chemical floating around in their gnome.

Posted by Utopia at May 5, 2006 07:54 AM

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Posted by: Andrea at May 6, 2006 04:11 PM

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