I was going to rant and rave about some things. But, now I just don’t feel like it. To be honest, I don’t feel like much of anything. I must admit disappointment at the fact that my cases was pleaded out after I got chosen to sit on a jury. I was looking forward to the experience. I thought it would be fun. I mean, it’s something I’ve never done before.

I was toodling around various blogs and I saw the normal whining and bitching I see and I was going to rant about it, but in the end, I decided not to. Meh. Instead, I’m going to sing the joys of transvestites and transsexuals. I love them. I don’t know why. It’s a strange Utopia thing that I can’t put into words. Perhaps it is some strange form of penis envy? I do often find myself wishing I was a man.

I was listening to Rissah last night on Mango Radio and she was talking about what she would do if the magical penis fairies came down and granted her a temporary penis. I have to admit, I’d pretty much do everything she described: pee in the snow, bang lots of people, masturbate, compare, hit people upside the head with my temporary wang … you know, things people do with dicks.

I’ve digressed. I was talking about transsexuals. I suppose talking about having a temporary penis is like talking about transsexuals. I remember as a kid, around the same time I decided I wanted to be a physicist, I also wished I was a man. I remember being so incredibly frustrated with being a girl that it made me near crazy. We were slighted as women, told we couldn’t do the same things as boys. So, I told my teacher I wanted to be a boy. She was understanding and from that day forward, she never treated me differently from how she treated the boys. I mean fuck, my nickname back then was J.R. It’s the only nickname I’ve ever had that stuck for more than a day.

So, I was thinking, “Am I a transsexual?” No, probably not. I don’t mind being a woman quite as much anymore. Maybe I’m just used to it. Maybe I don’t let people treat me differently because I’m a woman (but they do… it’s just the nature of things). I won’t lie. There are women out there I find incredibly attractive, just as there are men I find attractive. I can’t quantify it and that is something that bothers me. I am married and devoted. Don’t get me wrong here, but attraction still happens … though I must admit it happens much less often now (with other people, I am still hopelessly attracted to my husband and I’m not just saying that, it’s true).

Fuck all. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m writing about anymore.

Utopia, stop fucking spewing drivel onto the page.

Anyway, to prove my devotion to said transsexuals and transvestites, I give you Utopia in a Rocky Horror costume.

Posted by Utopia at April 12, 2006 12:05 PM

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Posted by: Jen at April 13, 2006 07:43 AM

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