Dear Fashion Industry,

Today I went to the mall to purchase myself a new skirt. I was dismayed to find that all skirts were in the new "Spring" colors of baby blue, pink and varying shades of yellow. Now, I don't look good in any shade of yellow or pastel in the winter, why do you think that suddenly, because it is spring I will look good in these colors? And it was not just one skirt or one store. Oh no... it was you as a whole conspiring together with your new "in" colors.

Most people do not look good in yellow of any shade, yet, there was a wide assortment of yellow all lined up and waiting to be purchased. Are you commiting these atrocities on purpose? Or is it just to annoy me?

These skirts were also all in one style. Ruffles were involved. And they looks ratty and used. I don't want a skirt to look used. Every skirt was exactly the same, what happened to variety? Having the same skirt in pink, blue and yellow is not variety.

Also, I have noticed that everything looks like it was made to be worn on a street corner. I personally do not want my boobs hanging out all over the place. While I do think I have rather nice breasts, they should not be out there for all to see. And halter tops? What the fuck? I am neither the corner slut nor 80 years old. Is there a happy middle with which you can provide me of high quality clothing that I will not have to take out a loan for? If a decent skirt costs $150 it had better make me look and feel like Marilyn fucking Monroe or Audrey Hepburn.

I would also like to point out, that, as a female, I have hips. I also have a waist. My hips are broader than my waist by about 10 inches. Yet, every pair of pants I tried on fails to compensate for this fact. I have an ass and hips, yet all pants seem to be made for some mysterious androgynous elfin creature that lives only in fairy tale and fashion magazines. If I put on a pair of pants I expect them to cover my ass. No one should have to see my ass crack. It's not a sexy look on anyone, even if you're 36-24-36.

So, fashion industry. I ask that you provide clothing in a wide range of colors year round. Just because it is spring or summer, it does not magically change the tone of my skin and suddenly make me look good in your choice of "cool" color. I also ask that you provide skirts that don't look like they were sewn together by a blind kindergardener. I don't like ruffles. I know some people do, but there are many who don't. Provide skirts of at least two styles and of varying length. I am neither amish nor a tennis player, thus a skirt should come in more than ankle or ass length. Pants should account for hips and the feminine curve and make sure that no one can see my underware. It's white and cotton because wearing a thong against denim is not comfortable. It chafes. I would also like a shirt which will not force my boobs to pop out without notice and will descretely hide my bra straps. I also ask that you provide this at a reasonable price, one outfit should not cost more than my fucking rent.

I hope you take my suggestions into consideration. But I know that you don't care. So ...

Fuck you,
Utopia

Posted by Utopia at April 9, 2006 03:15 AM

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Posted by: Kat at April 9, 2006 05:04 AM

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