Abstract Utopia - I am a Desert.

Never Show Weakness

February 20, 2006
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I am totally and completely exhausted. I'm burnt out in ways I can't even begin to describe. I come into my cubicle today from lunch and I find several binders upon my desk with pleasant little post-it notes attached in a cheerful plethora of colors. Since I wasn’t at my desk for people to ask me to dump their work on me, they instead just did it and informed the higher ups that I was suddenly in charge of the tasks. The cheerful notes anger me the most. Who thought it would be nice to make post-its in bright cheerful pink and blue? Don’t shit on my desk and call it gold.

I think the cubicle ninjas have been in my pencil drawer again as well. I found today I have no pencils left, only pens. And my binders are multiplying. My lab coats still haven’t returned from the cleaners so I can’t go into the lab to hide away from the people who are plotting my eventual demise in a sea of paperwork. I know those fuckers are waiting with lemon juice to pour into my open wounds and paper cuts. I can sense their presence.

I can hardly keep my eyes open today. I’m not sleepy, just drained. My weekend was a whirlwind of excitement and I am in recovery. Okay, maybe not excitement, but it was something at least. I got free swag from the Gaming con I went to and I met Jennie Breeden of The Devil’s Panties. We even hung out a little bit. We talked about Batman because of my extra cool batman digital camera. I got her a matching camera (because I’m a little otaku fangirl) and she gave me free books. It was cool. I now have books about Pirates and the first two Devil’s Panties books.

This has made it harder to come to work and continue my valiant battle against the cubicle ninjas who work to destroy me. They have taken all of the coffee from the break room leaving only the “fancy” coffee machine that dispenses liquid evil (a.k.a. Starbucks). They have also stripped the vending machine of the Pop-Tarts and granola bars, leaving me hungry and bitter. They are definitely up to something today. I suspect it will strike in the middle of the week after my spirits have been sufficiently crushed into a bloody mound of goo that everyone can urinate upon as they dance around my crushed carcass chanting with mirthful laughter.

I know I shall prevail. I shall brandish my “Punk as Fuck” mug and call upon the powers of the office pirate. The powers of “Fuck” shall give me the strength I need to make it until the end of the week. They will not crush my spirit yet.

Posted by Utopia at February 20, 2006 02:20 PM

Comments

Cubicle ninjas must suck.

Hey..I dont have a cubicle. What are my workplace foes called?

Posted by: YummY! at February 21, 2006 12:26 AM

Damn the cubicle ninjas. I believe that they have infiltrated my workplace as well. See my latest blog entry for details of their latest antics.

Posted by: TheBisch at February 21, 2006 12:36 AM

I'm sending lots of "fuck" your way.

Posted by: Vesper at February 21, 2006 12:55 AM

You should let me know ahead of time when you're going to Gaming cons. I'll check with my brother to see if he's attending & have you look him up. He used to work for White Wolf in a wide variety of positions. Now he's some sort of marketing manager at Cartoon Network.

Posted by: monogodo at February 21, 2006 01:05 PM

"I got free swag from the Gaming con I went to"

Clearly you're lying about your weekend...everybody knows that they don't allow girls at gaming cons. Especially good looking ones. The amount of energy released by the simultaneous wood-getting of that many gaming-geeks would cause the venue to implode upon itself, killing everyone inside - well, everyone inside who hadn't already died from the shock of seeing an attractive woman at a gaming con.

Posted by: Hot Karl at February 21, 2006 01:07 PM

YummY! - You'd probably have the shelf samurai who rearrange things with a childish zsen not five minutes after you've just put them up.

Vesper - Thanks, I need it.

TheBisch - That does indeed sound like the cubicle ninjas at work. It seems you have the same sort of evil dispensing machine as I do... perhaps that is how they infiltrate the workplace.

monogodo - Cartoon Network?!?!? *swoons* I think the next con I'll be going to is MomoCon or Summer Sci-Fi Con 'round here. I know I'll be at DragonCon, I already have my tickets and validation paid for.

HotKarl - I was incognito. I had a hat and a Paladium Sourcebook. There were only like four other girls there and one of them was called "Squidette" (counterpart of "Squid") if that gives you an idea of what they were like.

Posted by: Utopia at February 21, 2006 01:14 PM

Yeah, Cartoon Network. Too bad you're married and he has a live-in girlfriend. Although, as the saying goes, just 'cause there's a goalie, it doesn't mean you can't score.

Posted by: monogodo at February 21, 2006 06:29 PM

Perhaps you are right... the evil liquid dispensing machine is somewhat new and the problems with the other vending machines didn't start until recently... hmmm. The plot thickens.

Posted by: TheBisch at February 21, 2006 11:17 PM

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