For those people who know me and are used to seeing me around, they would have noticed that they havn't been seeing me in the places I normally haunt. By this I mean I havn't been MUDding for the past month or so.

GASP!

Right? Heh. I realized that I have an obsessive personality and I tend to drag myself too deeply into things. So, every now and again, I test myself to see if I can give things up cold turkey. Most of the time I am successful. I gave up MUDding for several weeks now because I felt I needed to. I gave it up because I thought I was spending too much time behind my computer and not enough time with my husband and doing other things.

While I gave up MUDding, I still spend ample amounts of time behind my computer. I guess you can't take the geek completely out of me.

I also gave up caffeine cold turkey. This was infinately harder than the gaming for two reasons. One - caffeine is highly addictive and the headaches, the shakes and the muscle spasms made me want to crawl into a hole and die. The worst part of the withdrawals was the heart spasms and the inability to breath every now and again. however, reason number two made it much, much harder. I love tea. Love it. I feel incomplete if I havn't had my cup(s) of tea during the day. There is nothing like sitting down with a hot cup of Kuan Yin Oolong and slowly savoring it as the semi-earthy and sweet smell permiates your senses. The taste of the hot liquid rolling over your tongue, tingling each of the aste buds: salty, sweet, bitter, spicy... all of them at once for a complete round taste that dances in your mouth and calms every nerve in your body is wonderful. Decaffeinated tea can suck my dick, or rather, in my case lick my clit. Non-caffeinated, chemical treated bullshit if you ask me.

Tea has become a part of my routine. I love all sorts of tea (save for the chemical treated psuedo-fruity teas). I spend a lot of time (and money) investing in tea, the proper brewing contraptions and the perfect mug and teapot. I have all of these things now and they sit there, on their shelf weeping for me. I can see it. My Chinese teapot made from Yixing clay sits so sadly on the counter, begging me to use it. I open it every now and again and smell the aroma of tea past, now permiating the clay and making it smell sweet. That smell taunts my nose and sends me reeling.

I gave up caffeine around the same time I gave up MUDding. I realize now how much I truly love them both. I feel a bit empty without my games (and the psuedo-human contact that comes with it) and my tea. My hobbies are rather sad really.

My books aren't quite as happy without my teacup. My playstation isn't quite as much fun now that I don't MUD.

So, now what? Do I give up n my resolutions to persue the things I really enjoy? MUDding was not a resolution so much as a choice I made to test myself... but the caffiene and the lack of tea...

I'll hate myself for giving up.

But which is worse, the hatred or the void?

Posted by Utopia at January 24, 2006 07:44 PM

Comments

Posted by: WebKittyn at January 25, 2006 12:13 AM

Posted by: Vesper at January 25, 2006 01:20 AM

Posted by: Utopia at January 25, 2006 07:23 AM

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