I have decided to leave Shadow Siege for quite a few reasons. I wrote the staff some of them in notes to them. I hate favoritism. I do. I hate seeing some people get treated horribly because of it. I also hate the flip side of seeing people get treated as little pets because of it. But, it is human nature and it is best for me to keep my mouth shut on the matter. It is not for me to say how people should run their game. I think it was the fact that more and more I had to bite my tongue that made me finally decide to leave.

I see them pushing away other players. I have watched wave after wave of people quit, some of them my friends. I have stood by and held my tongue. I watch as the game slowly turns into a little self-mastabatory world for them to play in. I have watched as individuality is slowly stamped out and interesting character killed off because they aren't exactly what the staff wants to see. All the characters there now are pretty much the same. It's boring. Beyond boring. I rarely see anyone with a personality anymore. They are all like little shadow people doing and acting exactly like everyone else. Little mousy women, big tough wanna be men, psuedo evil slinking in the shadows, big evil stroking off in public... its formulaic. It's predictable. And that is boring.

If a character steps up to the plate to be something else, they are either ignored or killed. Everyone that I started playing with is gone. Everyone in the wave of people after that is gone. Even the old timers are mostly gone. I'm bored by it all. I see the plot a gazillion miles away. I can see if I'm going to be killed or not.

I made twins on the game. The person who played my twin has been pushed away by the staff. The one person who would actually roleplay with me has been pushed away. I'm not going to let the Staff there walk all over me anymore. It's not worth it. I loved the game. Loved it. I liked the world and for the most part the people. It has amazing potential. But, everyone is a doormat there.

I stood up to them once. It wasn't even for me, I stood up to them for someone else and they said some very hurtful things to me over it. I am the type of person who keeps my mouth shut. It's not my place to say anything. I always think before I speak. Always. I try very hard not to say things that I know will offend people when I'm playing on a game. I try very hard not to offend the staff because it's their game and they can do with it as they please. But, it really really bothers me when they don't extend the same courtesy to everyone else. I don't mind people insulting me, I'm a big girl and I can take it like a homosexual man in a gay porn; but I hate seeing them walk all over other people. I really hate it.

I am guilty as the next person. I hate stupid people. I really do. I bite my tongue though. I take a step back and bite my tongue. I try very hard to be a voice of reason in the middle.

But I have a temper that burns like the fire of a thousand suns. When I lose my temper be prepared for smiting... I'm talking fire and brimstone.

I have never lost my temper at Shadow Siege, but I've come close and that is the main reason I am going to quit. When I had to get up and walk away from my computer to keep myself from telling one of the staff members to: "sit on my fist and rotate, fun stops at the elbow"; I knew it was time for me to walk away. Players are one thing, but when I get that angry at a staff member, things are going badly.

I am sorry that the particular staff member is a sad little man who has no control over his real life so he has to take it out on all of us. I truly am. But, I don't have to take it. When I masterbate, I do it in the privacy of my own home. If he wants to wack off on his little game, fine, but I don't want his cum in my fucking hair.

I feel better now.

Besides, I found the game they broke off from, Eternal Struggle, and it is a lot more fun. I am enjoying it quite a bit. I have a halfling. I love halflings almost as much as I love kender and pixies. There is a good balance on that game and it makes me happy for the time being. I think it will turn out well.

In the mean time, I shall hack and slash over at Time of Darkness and roleplay at Eternal Struggle. If you guys ever want to see me on the flip side, that's where you can find me.