Pass the

Potato.

I got it from Webkittyn who got it from the Bisch. Where will it go next? Somewhere fun and exciting? No, probably somewhere like New Jersey. Anyway, let's see if we can get it to all 50 states shall we?

Well, I have started trying to learn how to learn shoutcast. It is a program I have had on my computer for a long time, but never really did anything with. I have started playing with it to make one of those wacky podcast things. Thus far the damn thing is thwarting me. I mean I can get songs on there, but I am fumbling with the many many many effects and getting them to work.

I am also struggling with set lists. I obsess about things like this. I have yet to actually add and speaking either. Mostly because I am lazy and I know my mic is crap. I also don't know what the hell to say. I used to DJ in college with a friend of mine. It was fun because we didn't really do anything exciting. Just babbled and played music. Then I became the Jazz director and what I said then didn't matter because no one listened to my jazz hour. So, now I have to think of clever and witty things to say.

So, I am working on the set list, toying with it constantly. This is what I have thus far:

"What's Up" - 4 Non Blondes
(a blurb here with some sort of witty acoustic tie in to the next songs)
"Curbside Prophet" - Jason Mraz
"Spit on a Stranger" - Nickel Creek
"The Real Folk Blues" - Mai Yamane
(Some sort of niftiness of 80's speal here)
"Video Killed the Radio Star" -Ben Folds Five
"Do you Wanna Dance" - Ramones
"Kick" -INXS
(more babble)
"Wig in a Box" -Hedwig and the Angry Inch
"Big Shoes" -Jill Sobule
"Drink Whiskey and Shut up" -Brian Setzer
"Rum and Coca-Cola" -Answer Sisters
(bit about alcohol... moving into sex and kitty cats)
"Pussy" -Lords of Acid
"Kitty" -Presidents of the United States
...

And this is where I draw a blank. Not sure where to go with it. So, I'll take requests. I'm not above that. If I don't have it, I'll find it.

So, I listened to the podcasts of Webkittyn and Jeckle. Both were pretty dang good. WebKittyn sounds so dang cute and has great taste in music. If I wasn't married I'd get me some of that. It would Utopia, Webkittyn Lesbian love. Sexy. I also listened to Jeckle's Shitty show and it has inspired me to in fact actually try to join the shitty blog club. Damn your wit Jeckle! Damn you!

So, I have been listening to the Mango Radio. It's pretty good. Makes me want to learn how to do those wacky podcasts. Would that wacky fruit man have me? Mmm... probably not. I am lazy and work long hours (quite the oxymoron eh?).

Anyway, I have a pint of Boddington's and am in a damn fine mood. I finished re-reading If Chins Could Kill, confessions of a B Movie actor by Bruce Campbell. I am angry at my husband for forgetting to get the new books signed by him for me last monday while I was at work, but oh well. I suppose I was only meant to have one Bruce Campbell Happy Birthday Autograph. *sniff*

I have been contemplating the Shittiness of my blog. It is pretty shitty. I write about useless blather no one really cares about. What does this contemplation mean?

It means I am thinking about applying to the Shitty Blog Club. Of course, that would also mean that more than three people would start reading my blog. Well, Maybe they would... probably not.

I have been putting together a list of merits of my blog that would allow it to join such a Shitty List.

1. My Layout is shitty... it doesn't work right in Explorer and probably Netscape as well. It is Mozilla/FireFox Specific, therefor making me an elitist bitch.
2. I often talk out of my ass and I do believe that is the very definition of shitty.
3. I want to be a link whore.
4. ...

Well, that's all I've got. My three faithful (or perhaps faithless) readers, what do you think? Should I take that bold leap into shittiness?

Well, I am once again a horrible person. I fully intended to listen to MANgo RAdio last night to listen to the ever spiffy WebKittyn. But, being me, I forgot. Rather, I went to bed early. I feel horrible. I love 80's music and WebKittyn claims to be a master of the genre (or the many genres within the era...). After reading about the struggle to make the show, I was determined to listen. I mean hell, something with that much work has got to be good.

Uhg... I feel horrible. Well, hopefully I can download the podcast of it and listen then. It has gotten me to thinking about putting together my own little podcasts. I think they would be fun. I have a little crappy mic and gobs and gobs of music. I used to dj back in college and I think I was pretty good at it. I'm obsessive about "the flow" of my sets. I spend a lot of time thinking about the mix CDs I put together for my lovely car rides to work.

Hrmm... maybe I'll apply to Mango like Webkittyn. Or maybe I'll mess around with the apparently evil software for a few month and see what I can put together and if its any good. I'll find some testing minions... I mean... friends... to listen to it and they can tell me how bad I suck and why my musical selections are akin to the dissonant sound of claws on chalkboards.

I have a splitting fucking headache. I suspect it is because I didn't sleep due to much goings on in the world of Aagos. Which you can read about On my roleplay blog (which isn't updating blog roller... damn you Blogroller... damn you.. *shakes her fist angrily*).

I am having a horrible time trying to concentrate on my work and my eyes feel like they are going to just pop right out of my skull. Uhg. I am sitting here drinking a mix of chamomille-mint tea in a vain attempt to relax all those pesky little blood vessles. On top of that I am having horrible bloody cramps that make me want to reach in a pull my uterus out of my body. This is a fact I am sure none of you wanted to know and I didn't originally intend on sharing when I sat down to write this.

On a good side... I just turned in my paper work to go from Contracting to Full time Salary at work. Yay! I got shit for a raise, but I get vacation time, better benefits, life insurance and a 401k plan. I think the dental alone will make it worth my while (not for me, for my husband, though I wouldn't mind getting one of my widom teeth plucked out of my skull). Now I get to muddle my way through all the fun forms.

Aside from that, I am in a great mood today. I had some very satisfying RP last night which has left me quite impressed. Few people would actually go through with what happened and it makes me warm and squishy inside to see it happen. Aside from myself, I can count on one hand the people who would do what they did simply to be true to their character. Bravo! You know how you are if you're reading this.

I find myself looking forward to RP in a way I havn't in the last few weeks. I also find myself looking forward to my life in general. A solid, stable job; getting everything in order to play the part of a 'grown up' now. My birthday is in October and I am looking forward to it. Unlike many of my female compadres, I don't mind getting older. I look forward to the day I can be a crochety old hag sitting on the front porch of my house and throwing cats at people like some insane trollop. (I love that word... trollop.)

The women in my family age like a fine wine--- we turn to vinegar. That is not to say we turn all decrepid, we just turn bitter and sour and mean. As a whole, the women in my family age physically rather slowly. I still get carded to go into 18 and over clubs. My mom is pushing 50 and she looks about 35, maybe 40. My grandmothers (the living one obviously) is pushing 75 and she looks about 45 save for the truly hideous hair cut she has. (Note to self... a mullet is never fashionable, especially on a woman). one of my great grandmothers lived to be 103, the other is 92 and still kicking with her bitter mean little self.

Ahhh yes... despite the pain in my head and in my uterus, life is good. Bring it on I say! Bring it on!

This link is not suitable for Cats under the age of 7... or rabbits... or humans.

Cat Hentai

Okay... so it's not hentai... there are no tentacles or little white spots of light... but well... yeah. I think of my poor cats when I see this. Poor poor kitties. Just remember that some things are not meant to be... What would their children look like?

Do you know what Splenda is? Of course you do. It's one of the many sugar substitutes out on the market. In fact, Splenda is one of the most popular ones. It is supposedly "made from sugar", of course, by sugar, they mean chemicals. Splenda is a molecule cleverly dubbed sucralose.

Regular sugar has groups of hydroxyl attached to the sugar molecule. To make Splenda, you replace those hydrogen based groups with a chloride atom. Yummy! This is done in a five step chemical process. Now, people will claim that the chlorine in sucralose molecule is harmless and that it passes through the digestive system completely inert. In all fairness, Splenda was put through a 20 year FDA trial before it was marketed and found to be harmless... in humans. And we all know the FDA has never made a mistake before when approving something for human consumption. However, there is a mis-statement to this in the SPlenda advertising. Despite the manufacturer's mis-statements, sucralose does break down into small amounts of 1,6-dichlorofructose, a chemical that has not been adequately tested in humans.

It should also be noted that no independant, controled human tests were made on sucralose by the FDA. They also never did any long term studies on the product

The Splenda molecule will pass completely through the system without being metabolized. It is completely eliminated after you eat it. According to claims. However, chlorocarbons are known to cause the lymph folicle in the spleen and thymus to atrophy in lab animals. of course, the human system is not the same as a lab animal, but we use those lab animals for a reason. The chlorocarbons in sucralose also cause a retarded growth rate, a decrease in red blood cell count and at the very least diarrhea.

The dosages given to the lab animals was of course very high, but these inflated dosages cause the shrinkage of the thymus and enlargement of the liver. One person may not have effects until a dose of 10 mg per kg of body weight (10 mg/kg) is reached, while another person may have chronic toxicity effects at 1 mg per kg of body weight (1 mg/kg). In addition, it is well known that many chemicals are much more toxic in humans than in rodents (or even monkeys). For example, the chemicals that the sweetener aspartame breaks down into vary from 5 to 50 times more toxic in humans than in rodents. Therefore, toxicologists estimate a further 10 times the dose for differences between human and rodent toxicity for a total of 100 times (10 * 10).

What does this mean, you ask? Well, we take the lowest dosage given to a lab animal that caused a negative effect. We divide that number by 100. That number is known as the Tolerable Daily Intake for a life time of use, or TDI. This is assuming that it has the same effect on humans as it does animals, but as we learned with aspertame, some chemicals are far more toxic to humans than rodents. Anyway, this number roughly equates to 50 diet sodas according to manufacture. Of course, do you know how much is put into one can of soda? I don't either. I don't drink soda and thus do not have access to the can and though I looked and looked I couldn't find the list of ingredients online.

I can tell you this though: Most Americans eat 20tsp of sugar/sugar substitute a day and 60% of that comes from our soft drinks.

So, think about this before you reach for those little packets of sugar... those "sugar-free low carb treats" and the new diet Coke with Splenda. It is unlikely that you'll overdose on Splenda any time soon, but, I've seen the sweet tooth on the American nation...

I don't like sweets, but I am known from time to time to indulge in Dunkin Donuts with my Husband. I figure anything in moderation... remember, moderation include supposed "sugarless, calorie-less" things as well.

Strange... blogroller isn't updating as I update my site with entries. Quite the quandry. I wonder why that is. Maybe it was just the last entry. Ah well, I suppose we'll see.

Edit: And Suddenly it is working. Damn you Blogroller for skipping my last two entries.

My favorite author is Haruki Murakami. I have read ever one of his books. Well, at least all of those translated to English, including his non-fiction account of the Tokyo Subway attack by the Aum Shinrikyo. His words are art. Each one seems so carefully chosen and they not hide anything. His words are words. As he says, "If I choose to write about sheep, it's just because I happened to write about sheep. There is no deep significance." (HM speaking to Anita Patil)

I think perhaps there is deeper meaning to his words though. By being upfront and honest in each sentance, the deeper meaning becomes available to those who are willing to read them as such. He often talk about the entropy of words. The fear of them. I identify with this. From time to time I find it extraordinarily difficult to speak, to write, to put my thoughts into coherance. Words are, sadly, not enough.

I finished his new book Kafka on the Shore. Upon finishing this book I had to take a few days of silence for myself- a time to refocus and rethink. In this time of silence, I reread my favorite of his novels Norwegian Wood. Over the past few days I am sure the three of you who read this blog have noticed the degeneration of my posting. My words seem to slip away from me... they suffer from entropy.

Now, for those of you who don't know what entropy is, here is a distilled definition:

entropy: n. 1. the degree of disorder and uncertainty in a system 2. a process of degeneration and trend into chaos

I hate when I do this, but I do it often. When reading Murakami's works, I realize that I am not alone in this. It is a common topic in his work. The degeneration of sound, or words, of thought. Chaos manifesting itself in silence. The careful choice of words (even in translation) makes me wonder if Murakami himself suffers from the noise within the mind that is so hard to organize and place into thought. The white light of ideas: dischordant, incoherant, polychromatic. This sort of thought is near impossible to put into words. By placing words on any idea we force it to become like a laser: monochromatic, coherent, collimated, intense.

Murakami's words are the laser.

Japanese researchers have developed a flexible artificial skin that could give robots a humanlike sense of touch.

The team manufactured a type of "skin" capable of sensing pressure and another capable of sensing temperature.
-BBCnews.com, Thin skin will help robots 'feel'

I love science. Robots with skin. I suppose this would be handy with plantary exploration. I am trying to figure out how this is helpful for robots as we know them. I don't think it really is, I mean we already have temperature sensitive instrumentation. I suppose the pressure sensitive panel is useful when moving around.

Of course, I don't think the use in mind for this 'skin' is for robots as we know them. I think it is probably for the humanoid robots the japanese are working on developing.

Japanese develop 'female' android

Well, thanks to Darkstar I have decided to try and boost interaction as well through comments. basically you answer the question I will post about the above topic, then leave a comment in the person'a blog who posted a comment above you. yay! Team work!

So, the question of the day is this:

What use do you see humanoid robots (with human features like 'skin') having in the future?

I have had a They Might Be Giants song stuck in my head all day. I love that band, they are geek rock at its finest (...and Bad Religion for the people who actually bother to listen to the words). I am a great big geek. This is a fairly common known fact about me.

Anyway, it started this morning when I was watching the news. All I happened to catch was the phrase "Dupont Pavilion". You know how tricky the brain can be. Damn brain.

Anyway, I have the song Ana Ng stuck in my head.

So remember folks...

I don't want the world, I just want your half.

Apparently WebKittyn is a link whore. But, contrary to popular belief, she is a classy link whore. As a whole, I trust her opinions on blogs. She wants to be a marauding marsupial on TTLB Ecosystem. I have finally managed to become a multi-celled organism with a spine. Yay Backbones! I am a Flippery Fish.

I wish WebKittyn luck in becoming a Marsupial because they are so damn cool. Also, she is my web hostess and I know I must feed her addiction so she continues to buy more domains and eventually takes over the world. (Hopefully she will remember the underlings who have supported her and give them a nice little island off in the Mediterranean. *nudge nudge wink wink*)

I am not a link whore, but perhaps I should consider becoming one. I shall take lessons from The Master.

I shit you not.

Jerry Springer: The Opera is real.

In all honesty it looks bloody halarious.

Arts Council England has denied that it refused to fund a UK tour of the musical Jerry Springer: The Opera over protests by Christian groups.

The controversial show - which depicts Jesus, God and Mary as talk show guests in Hell - is due to start a nationwide tour in January 2006.

Apparently people do not understand satire. Comedy is apparently a series of dick and fart jokes and such high brow (albeit Jerry Springer is a far cry from High Brow) concepts as satire, sarcasm, and wit. Of course, most people aren't smart enough to catch this sort of humor so I shouldn't expect them to find something like Jesus, Mary and God in hell funny.

The thing I find saddest of all is that is the Christian contingent hadn't made such a big deal about this, I would have never heard of it.

In March this year, Christian Voice wrote to 250 regional theatres urging them to boycott the satirical show.

The letter warned theatres it would seek to prosecute them on grounds of blasphemy, leading to many venues pulling out of the tour.

Prosecute on the grounds of blasphemy? Lordy, what are they going to do, drag out the ticket clerk and burn the poor, pimpled youth at the stake? Accuse the theater owner of being in league with Satan and then torture a confession out of the chap before they drown them in thee river, burn them and other wise molest their heretical bodies?

Pull your heads out of your asses people. Take a joke. If you can't bloody laugh at yourself you won't ever be respected. If you want to take Jerry Springer that seriously, you really need to get your priorities straight.

Well, remember, just because it's blasphemy, doesn't mean its not art and its not good.

The show - which is based on the Jerry Springer US talkshow - picked up a string of awards, including best musical at the Olivier Awards, the Critics' Circle Awards and the Evening Standard Awards.

So there.

Useless tidbit #7
When I was a kid I idolized Eddie Money. My brother was a fan of Cory Hart, but for me it was all about Eddie Money. Why? I don't know. I liked his music. I can still remember singing "Take me Home Tonight" at the top of my lungs. Later, when I was in an 80's cover band, I did actually get to do this song. It was a definate high point in bar playing for me.

"Be my little Baaaby. Ooooh be my Daaarling. Oooh Oh oh Ooooh."

A Random Fact about Me... #6
I love to write. I do not mean stories and poetry and such, I mean actually physically writing. Putting ink on paper. I am forever in search of the perfect pen and paper combinations. As such, I have a stack of journals and notebooks. I have a few fountain pens, various styles of felt tipped, ball point and otherwise. I don't really like the gel pens, I prefer a thin tip becaue I press down rather hard on the paper when I write. I like my ink to flow smoothely on the page and not leave a sticky residue.

Perhaps this is some sort of fetish? Perhaps it is akin to that in The Pillow Book. (An ultra sexy movie with Ewan McGregor... mmm... nekkid Ewan...) So.. from that movie, I leave you with a quote today.

When God made the first clay model of a human being, he painted the eyes, the lips, and the sex. And then He painted in each person's name lest the person should ever forget it. If God approved of His creation, he breathed the painted clay-model into life by signing His own name.

Hehe... I need a Kthulhu devotional candle. I think really everyone does.

Kthulhu Kitsch

Remember children... what would Cthulhu do?
Drive them mad and eat them.

Be like Cthulhu! Tentacles are the new flip flops!

I have been neglecting my roleplay blog the past week. Why? I don't know, I suppose I havn't really been in the mood to write in it. I do have those questions I need to answer for the interview and I think writing that interview will get me back on track. I do generally keep it updated once every week day (or sometimes just 5 times a week) so, letting it fall lax always leaves me with a feeling of guilt.

I suppose there has been a lot on my mind this week. My husband hasn't been sleeping at all. I think he's been getting around 2 hours a day; if that. The death of our friend has thrown him for quite a loop I think, even if he doesn't say anything. He went through the same insomnia and inability to sleep when his mom died. I suspect that stretch will last longer than this one.

I want to update the look of my main roleplay blog again. For some reason it is just bothering me. It feels... cramped or something on there. I don't know. I'll think about it some more. Right now I have just been very lazy with the whole web page thing. Design, posting, graphics, the whole sha-bang. I suppose it just comes down to the fact I have been having trouble this week putting my mind where my character's would be. Ah well, it will come back to me when I play her more.

To get back into the whole redesign of blogs and web pages and stuff, I have been working on some more fan art of Characters from my game. Right now I am working on a portrait of two characters from the game. I think it is coming out well, but I need to work on it more. I have trouble drawing manly men and this one is rather manly. You can see their blogs here:

Mind Behind the Madness
Zarika Mao

Also, to help inspire myself I bought a colouring book and some crayons. It is a kitty colouring book and shuld be loads of fun. I love to colour.

Factoid #5... incredibly useless and otherwise silly

I have a one-eyed cat. His name is Cygnus. That is The Swan so far as constellations go. Here is a picture of my one-eyed cat. Isn't he cute? He meowls very loudly and wakes up my husband in the mornings and the evenings and during the day. He enjoys meowling just to get attention. He likes people to talk to him so he can 'talk' back. At night, he sleeps on my head. He always seems to know when we need lovin' and he very good at making both my husband and I feel better when we're down.

I actually have three cats. They are all very different. My husband let out my cat the other day on accident and he hasn't come home yet. I am sick with worry. I've made up a million signs and put them everywhere. I love my Gimpy-cat very much and I want him to come home. i've had him for longer than I've had my husband. I am ery upset that my husband wasn't paying attention and let him out. I don't want to believe that he isn't coming back, I know he'll find his way home. I know it.

My third cat is a little diva. She is an attention whore, but I love her. She is grey and fuzzy and cute and she enjoys being squished between my husband and I. We were tricked into taking her, but I am glad we did.

Things people don't know about me #4
My totem is the coyote. (Yes, I believe in stuff like that. I may be a gravitate toward Sumerian based Dischordianism, but there are some things that have truly connected with me outside of that.) This totem was given to me by a tohono o'odam medicine woman. Her name was Elizabeth. No one ever called her Liz or Beth... it was always Elizabeth. Anyway, the coyote is the trickster, the elder, the magic maker, the wise... the distant. She only comes to me to laugh when I do stupid things... I suppose She is making sure I've learned my lesson. Yes, I do consider my coyote totem a She rather than a He... it's just one of those things.

I wrote a whole web page to Coyote... Historical and otherwise. Here is a link. (I warn you... this is before I was an adobe guru so the graphics suck ass.)

Coyote: My Totem, My Guide

I am a horrible person.

I had to get that out of the way first.

Yesterday evening I found out two of my friends died. They were people I knew from college. One died in a car accident and the other OD'd while in Las Vegas.

The one who died in the car accident was strung out on crack and who knows what else. He had been doing crack for sometime apparently. He worked with my husband and my husband figured he was and confronted him, but he denied it to his last breath. He died along with his Crack Whore, 18 year old girlfriend. (She literally gave it away for crack. Sad, Yes?)

I feel totally indifferent to his death. Nothing... not sadness, not anger, not even numbness. I feel, the same. It has left me unaffected. That stoicism I feel makes me feel shitty about myself. It makes me realize I didn't give a rats ass about the person who I considered a friend. To be honest, I don't I even considered him a friend. He was that guy who worked with my husband and I sometimes hung around with at the bar.

My other friend was an explosives chemist. He was working on his Masters in the field. He went to Vegas with his boyfriend (also a friend of mine) and they spent the weekend getting drunk. one night he took some painkillers then proceded to drink and gamble, went to bed and didn't wake up again.

This was a person I spent a good deal of time with talking about Alchemy, Metaphysics, Dischordianism, and spritiuality in general along with explosives, math and school. He was a dj and would often dj my club dances for free for me. We worked together at the radio station. Once again... I feel indifferent. NOthing. He's dead and I accept it.

Most people would feel sad at this, they would feel angry, hurt... something. I feel like I should feel something and since I don't I feel like a true bastard. Does this mean that I didn't really consider these people my friends? I mean, fuck, do I really think that little of people?

I'll be the first one to admit, there are very few people I consider close friends and these two guys were not on that list. I suppose they were really just acquaintances. I suppose I never let either of these two people know me. I don't let many people know me. I rarely talk about myself or my feelings. In my family, it just wasn't done. I have tried to write this five times and each time I have found myself grasping at words. I have watched each word flit away from me, just beyond my grasp. I do not know if I am expressing myself.

And I see myself writing this and I notice how fucking selfish I am.

I have made myself a new friend test. I think of the people I know and picture getting a call from someone who tells me they've just died. If I feel hurt, or sadness, then that person is one of my true friends.

I can count my true friends on one hand.

The sad thing is, the poeple who count me as one of their true friends would take five people worth of hands.

Gods... I am a horrible person.

I read over what I had written so far and I realized I was only telling things I was good at... things I could do. So I thought I needed to cut myself down to size here and write about something I am bad at/with. I am a flawed creature and I think you all (all three of you) deserve to know that.

Useless, but unknown factoid #3
I am bad with money. Not to say I don't understand money and economics and all of that, I'm just bad with dealing with the actual thing. Well, I'm not bad with it per say, but I am extremely absent minded. I forget to pay bills, deposit checks etc. It's not that I don't have the money to pay them, I simply forget and things snowball on me. I also am a bit of a miser. I don't like to spend money I don't have to... yet I will go out and purchase something completely and utterly frivolous from time to time and then get in trouble when the bills come because I simply forget about them. It's a horrible and viscious cycle.

Auto-pay and Auto-deposit are my friends.

Useless and relatively Unknown Factoid #2
I play jazz bass. To be honest, I started out playing classical, but I was recruited to play jazz and havn't turned back. I play both upright and electric bass. I am a fan of swing and latin jazz, though I love good improv. I have two basses: a Fender p-bass and a Fender Jazz bass. I am saving up for an upright.

I have decided that this week I will write one thing every day that most people don't know about me. (At least in the online community.) Maybe this will catch on and other people will do it as well.

Useless, but unknown tidbit #1
I used to be an avid track sprinter. I ran the 100m dash in 11.5s (unofficial -hand held) or 11.72s (official -electronic). These times are from high school. I quit running in college for two reasons: a. I wanted to concentrate on academia (physics and math) and b. the school I went to had no sports teams. I can no longer run 100m under 12s. I am lucky to get 12.5s.

Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren't perfect.
-Fred Rogers

Mister Rogers... How many of us havn't traveled to his neighborhood? Seen the land of make believe? Mister Rogers is one of my top three heroes. His look on the world... on people was soft, understated and compassionate. He told the truth even when we didn't want to hear it. He never clouded the issues. And... he never treated us like we were children. Never once did he think that we could not understand something. Such honesty is rare these days.

Assasination, the Cold War, tradgedy, world peace... these were as common topics on his programe as sharing, compassion, understanding and friendship. One of my most vivid memories is Mister Rogers talking about the Challenger explosion. I watched it burst into flames on TV (I was in Kindergarten an we were all watching it in the auditorium), but it wasn't until I saw Mister Roger almost break down into tears that I truly realized what it meant. Mister Roger spoke plainly about death and about sacrifice. He didn't gloss over events like many adults, instead he knew that we could see and that we could understand.

We need to remember that children are trying, too; trying to understand their feelings and their world, trying to please the people they love, trying to grow. When grownups and children are trying together, just about anything can be possible.
-Fred Rogers

Why is it that so few people have the courage to speak plainly to children? Why is it so many people treat them as if they are blind, deaf and dumb? I've never understood that. I am sure most adults think they are sheltering children from hurt, but life contains hurt. It contains pain, sadness, sorrow, tradgedy, miscommunication as well as joy, freedom, and whimsy. Mister Rogers knew this. He was never scared of his feelings or sharing them. He knew that even though we were young, we were human and subject to the same emotions as adults.

The older I get, the more convinced I am that the space between communicating human beings can be hallowed ground.
-Fred Rogers

Yes, human beings. Human beings... that is what we all are. Age, Race, sex, religion... these are but trivialities compared to the greater picture. If we dare to communicate we will be treading on the hallowed ground. The use of words, the shared space - the true Holy Land: this is where we find the place of connection. All people travel this land, but some circle around it, afraid to get too close. This leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication, dishonesty.

We should treat this space as what it is: holy. If more people did that, there would be less misunderstanding. We could find the common ground we so often find ourselves searching for in this crazy world of terrorism, hunger, fear and degredation.

The day I heard Fred Rogers passed away, I cried. Mister Rogers taught me that it was okay to cry when I was sad. So, for him I cried and then I laughed. He deserved both my joy and sadness for his life and his death.

As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.
-Fred Rogers

Canadian-born newsreader Peter Jennings, who read the news to Americans in five separate decades, has died at the age of 67.

Mr Jennings, who announced that he was suffering from lung cancer in April, died at his home in New York.

He has been described as one of the most powerful and influential journalists on television in the US.

Mr Jennings had worked with the ABC network since 1964, covering both the Berlin's Wall building and fall.

-BBCNews.com

Peter Jennings... John Wayne... my 2nd Mom... that's three people I greatly admired who have died from lung cancer now. Next year I plan to do the Blog-a-Thon and my charity of choice will be the American Cancer Society. I've known many people with cancer: family and friends. It is likely (though not certain) I will get cancer sometime in the future. The research is there, we just need to support it.

I was reading through another blog. Something I do from time to time. And by time to time I mean obsessively. In reading through this blog I learned how to make rounded corners on blog entries. It will only work in Mozilla (and Firefox). So, once again, this proves all other browsers suck! I've always loved how rounded edges look, they make everything seem so much sleeker, streamlined.

Anyway, becaue I am a peach (or bitch, maybe both) here is what you add to your .css sheet. This should be added after you other border decoration tags in your styles.

-moz-border-radius: 10px;

I have been wanting to add rounded corners for some time, but until I found this I could only do it through images which is, frankly, a pain in my ass that just isn't worth it; especially considering how often I like to change my template.

You can also add rounded corner to selective edges as follows:

-moz-border-radius-topleft: 10px;
-moz-border-radius-topright: 10px;
-moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 10px;
-moz-border-radius-bottomright: 10px;

As you can see, it makes my pretty dashes go away, but I think it's worth it. Soon I will probably be changing my template again. Probably to greys and whites. All of you Mozilla users out there will get to see my nice round edges. The rest of you, well, you miss out.

Anyway, that is my big tutorial! Thank you to Munuviana!

Visit them and check out their extra great page. It is a wealth of information.

Munuviana

As people who read the news would know, this week there was a lynching in Israel.

Israeli Bus Shootings

Now, I am from the West (USA), so I know that lynchings are a way of things when someone does somthing so grievous that the people there take the law into their own hands. An Israeli teenager abandoned his post in the Army (in which all Israeli citizens are required to serve... male or female) and went on a bus and started shooting it up. He had abandoned his post over the whole Gaza strip pull-out mess. Oh yes, that whole thing is a mess.

Anyway, people mobbed the bus, pulled out the kid and beat him to death. So, which side has done wrong? Both. What the kid did is reprehensible, horrible, and quite frankly petty murder, but the crowd, they were just as wrong. They only pulled him from the bus and beat him after he ran out of bullets and was no longer a threat. That is not self defense. The thing I find amusing is that both sides are taking the same view on the matter. Their hatred for each other runs so deep that both sides are doing the same fucking thing. There was a time when we in the English speaking world refered to the Jewish Israeli's as "freedom fighters", in other words, terrorists who are on our side. These days, we can't even do that. They are terrorists. Terrorism is happening on both sides and there doesn't look to be an end in sight. The hatred has escalated to such a level that it is almost as if it is born into their hearts before birth.

I remember a while back my aunt told me her opinion on the matter. She said that those in Israel (on both sides) were forced into an eternal conflict. That they are born again and again to fight each other and that is why the hatred runs so deep. It is a conflict between souls who don't know how to move on, all they know is that they must kill each other. Their hatred is so old and so bitter that is transcends life and scars the soul.

In a way, this thought makes sense. Why else would people be fighting over something as trivial as a bit of land? Dry, barren, horrible land at that. Yes, there are holy places there. Well, news flash people... Judaism and Muslim all have roots in the Hebrew faith. The land is holy for both and that's okay. I think once people realize that its okay to share holy stuff (in essense that is what they're fighting over, stuff that happens to be 'holy'), then everything will be okay. Unfortunately, they are so blinded by their hatred that they can't see it. The anger is a mask with no eyes.

To mock what they are currently fighting over (the West Bank), an artist went and did some wall paintings upon the 'security' wall. (There was a 'security wall in another place as well... I'm sure some of you remember it. The Berlin Wall.) It is a satirical take on what they are fighting over.

Satirical Paintings

Don't let this turn into another 'cold war' Walls only divide and in the end don't help a Gods Damned thing. They set up a physical barrier where there is a mental/emotional one. Yes, these people hate each other, but a wall will not stop them from killing each other. Unfortunately, walls do stop people from talking to each other.

I am a jew... well, I was born as one and raised as one. I would one day like to go to Israel and see the Wailing Wall and the chunk of barren desert that is Holy to my family and my ancestors.

Well, it has happened, I got my first "spam" comment. Ahhh, well, I deleted it. Well, that's one so far. It's not a big deal I suppose just to delete them without approving them, it's just a touch aggrivating to see them. I do not have any desire to have a longer erection or a larger penis. Frankly, there isn't often I even desire a penis.

Ah well. I am holding a little experiment on one of my roleplay blogs. Some of you may read it (probably more people than read this one). Basically, I decided to do an in character interview, but instead of coming up with the questions myself, I decided to let the people who read it post questions to be answered. I thought that would keep me more honest with the whole thing. So, if you have any ideas for questions head over and post some comments:

Tzoli's Red Leather Journal

I try to update that blog everyday though I admit someimes I fall a bit slack on it, just as I fall a bit slack updating this blog. I am getting better. Though I have to admit it is mostly due to the fact that I have little to do at work right now and I do this to make myself look busy.

Anyway, that is it for bloggy updates and stuff. I will post something real later. There have been more clones. Yay Clones! Have I mentioned I love science?

I thought I would write a simple relaxation meditation, one that can be used anywhere. It is one I often use when I'm feeling stressed out from work, classes and life in general. It helps me to take a step back and remember to slow down and enjoy all the wonderful things life has to offer.

The first time I did this meditation, I was sitting in my office going a bit batty from all the pressures that had been building up around me all day. I thought I was going to burst. I was depressed with the state of things around me and the amount of work I had to do. Nothing seemed to be going my way. I realized I had to take a step back or I was going to take off the head of the next person who dared to peek their head into my abode.

I started just breathing slowly and trying to think of all the things I wished I would see and feel outside my office. This is the meditation that came from that.

Make a list of ten things you appreciate in life. They can be anything that brings you pleasure and makes you feel good. Keep it simple. Think of everyday things that you often forget about. Look outside and see the world, spot things that you have missed. Think of the Sound of Music, list a few of your favorite things.

Breathe in through your nose with one. As you do breathe in think of the first thing on your list. Then, exhale through your mouth on two and think of the next thing on your list. Breathe in on three and continue down the list in a similar fashion. Repeat as many times as you like.

Here is an example. This is the list of things I use. Feel free to use them yourself or improvise. Feel free to add more items to the list, I know there are days when more things pop into my head and I just have to include them.

Breath in, One: warm sun
Breath out, Two: the smell of leaves
Breath in, Three: a really tall saguaro
Breath out, Four: flying birds
Breath in, Five: warm breezes on wet skin
Breath out, Six: letters from friends
Breath in, Seven: dawn
Breath out, Eight: the mountains
Breath in, Nine: a cup of tea
Breath out, Ten: the sound of rain

See? It is kind of silly and very simple, but it makes me remember all the things I sometimes forget in the craziness of the day.

Let this meditation carry you away if you like and have the time. Allow you mind to fixate on some of the images that are conjured up on your head as you slowly breathe and count out your ten wonderful things.

Nanotechnology Kills Cancer Cells

This is incredibly encouraging. I have always been a fan of nanotech and I am glad that there is some serious research going on with it that will truly influence life. I am a big advocate of Fighting Cancer. If I was doing the Blogathon (the only reason I'm not is because I don't think I have enough time to drum up sponsors... next year though for certain), I would probably be giving my money to the American Cancer Institute or some other cancer related society.

As some may or may not know, my Mother (in law) died in December of cancer. One of the main reasons she passed away is that she couldn't handle the treatments. They made her too weak to fight. It got to the point where we had to choose: let the treatments kill her, or let the cancer.

My Mother (mine, not the husband's) had to have a full hysterectomy because they detected a few cancerous cells and she simply didn't want to risk it. (Her mother, my nana, died of cancer.) Had this nanotech been available, she wouldn't have had to have the hysterectomy and take all the truly horrible medicines. You know those horrible pain killers that the FDA is all over now? Well, those. The Steroids she had to take were horrible for her. They made her very sick and I think maybe a touch crazy. (Or, maybe she was always crazy and its just gotten worse lately.)

I love Nanotech. I think Nanotech, Nuclear Medicine, and Stem Cells are the wave of the future in biology and medicine. I am always delighted to see practical uses put forward. This one gets a big thumbs up if it can be perfected.

Well, golly gee. Who knew, I'm 6% ghetto gangsta'. What up Gee. And stuff.

You scored as Loner. Loner 63% Goth 50% Geek 50% Drama nerd 50% Punk/Rebel 38% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 25% Stoner 13% Ghetto gangsta 6% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

Yay! I have comments! Woo!

Anyway, I will probably keep my comments up. I have gone through and appoved everyone's comments (mostly because none were spam and that makes me happy).

To answer a question I got: Yes, I do all of my own graphics from scratch. I sketched the banner image out with pencil and paper first. Then I scanned it. Then I created the lines in photoshop and coloured the images.

If people ask very nicely, I will make graphics for them as well. I do a lot of character fan art for the games I play. You can see some of it here:

Shadow Siege Gallery

I am Utopia in the gallery. I also make wallpapers. This is mostly photo manipulation. I do a lot of anime based walls. You can find those here:

Ani-Walls.net

Once again, I am Utopia. (Sensing a theme yet?)

Hrmm... enough shameless plugs about me. If you want some graphics, send me a comment and I'll email you about it when I have time. I warn you now, I work 40-50 hours a week and am otherwise incredibly lazy, so it may be a while before you get what you're looking for.

"We need a strong voice in New York who knows the U.N. and who can advance our reform agenda. But we don't need a voice which people may not be inclined to listen to. And I fear that knowing your reputation, and your reputation known well at the U.N., people will be inclined to tune you out. Some have said that sending you to New York would be like sending Nixon to China. I'm concerned it'll be more like sending a bull into a china shop." -Senator Joseph Biden (D- Delaware)

As some of you Americans out there may know, Bush plans to announce that John Bolton will be the Official US Ambassador to the United Nations. Bush plans to do this during the Congressional recess because they didn't approve of his choice.

Bush Announces Recess Appointment for Bolton

Anyway, I do not often get involved in politics, but there are a few positions I actually care about aside from my congressmen and the Leader of our 'free' nation. The Ambassador to the U.N. is one of them. Now, this may seem like an outlandish position to give a rat's ass about, but you must remember that this is the person who will be representing our Nation to the rest of the world in what is supposed to be an organized, free thinking forum.

I find myself incredibly irked by the fact that Bush is going to appoint John Bolton despite the fact that he was not approved by the Senate. To me, this feels like he's giving Congress the finger and waggling it about in their face like a spoiled child. Democrats and Republicans alike did not approve this choice as they failed to attain the 60 vote minimum to place this man in the position. So, instead of choosing another candidate, Bush decides to thrust this man into position whether we like it or not.

Now, I do not like Bolton and I will make no secret about that. I do not think he is qualified for the position. As a man, who knows, maybe he's a right smart chap to invite to your Sunday Afternoon Tea party. However, my grandmother is also a pleasure to have to tea, that doesn't mean she is qualified to be the U.N. Ambassador for the U.S.A.

"There is no United Nations. There is an international community that occasionally can be led by the only real power left in the world, and that's the United States, when it suits our interests and when we can get others to go along." - Bolton, 1994

How can we have a man who has such an incredibly low opinion of the rest of the world in a place where it is vital we show respect to those countries? This is a man who ignores facts or tries to manipulate them into something that simply isn't there to suit the answer he wants to hear. In a place of political discussion and tempered moderation, this simply cannot be tolerated. Sometimes you have to admit you're wrong and that your solution isn't the best one. The United Nations is about the world and a collective effort. It is not the United Nation as Bolton seems to think it should be.

Yes, it is true that the UN is in need of reform, but Bolton is not the man to do it. His idea of reform is closer to dictatorship with the United States holding the guns. We are a world power, but with that position comes responsibility. Not to overthrow and belittle other nations, but rather to work with them. Just because the US is bigger, or richer, or stronger, that doesn't make us better… it simply makes us different. Of course, the US isn’t really richer, strong or ‘bigger’ than some of the other countries in the United Nations, so really, the point it moot.

"If I were redoing the Security Council today, I'd have one permanent member, because that's the real reflection of the distribution of power in the world -- the United States." - Bolton, 2000

Not many people know how the United nations works, but the Security Council is a committee with five 'permanent' members. The rest of the slots are rotated around between the other nations. These committees are what make up the UN policies and basically decide control over things like the WHO, NATO and the Atomic Energy Commission. Any nation with a permanent position can more or less veto what ever they want to. To make the US the only permanent position would make them the UN Dictator. This would make the UN more or less an extension of the US government and that is not what it is.

There are of course other groups within the UN: The Trusteeship Council, the Economic and Social council, The International Court of Justice etc. But truly, the Security Council has the biggest impact on what actually get done within the UN. The Permanent members of the Security Council are: China, France, Great Britain, the United States, and Russia. The other 10 slots on the Security Council are nonpermanent slots that serve two years terms and are voted on by the General assembly.

Now, I would not call Great Britain, China, Russia or even France a non world power. These are (mostly) stable nations that have great sway over the world. I think rather than taking away permanent slots, you should add some: Brazil, Japan, South Africa, Egypt, India etc. This was in fact proposed back in 1997, but fell through.

Anyway, I have digressed from my point. John Bolton shouldn't be allowed into the U.N. He has no respect for the body. If he cannot respect it, then he will try to destroy it, or worse, twist it into something it is not meant to be.