I have found that from time to time, we all need to get in touch with our inner child. Make a mess, roll in the grass, play in the mud and scream at the top of our lungs for no good reason other than we felt like it. I don't really know why this is, but it is good to feel young.

For those of us who have become revered crones and for those of us who have yet to pass maidenhood, our inner child lives within. I have found that there are people who are born old. The child within is suppressed and bottled up, never being let out.

I hate to admit it, but I was one of these children. My parents both said so, even when I was a child they told me. I enjoyed 'crone' activities like my grandmother, sewing, knitting crocheting, cooking, reading and mostly, just sitting alone in my room thinking. What I was thinking about I can't recall, maybe I was trying to remember my past, maybe I was trying to remember my future, maybe I was just trying to see the present. I can't say for sure. I suppose this set me apart even as a kid. I was always on the `outside' of everyone else. The person who didn't quite fit in. I was more mature than the other children, at least that is what people tell me. I always felt like I was being horribly childish, I even hated myself for it at times.

I remember one incident where we had a disabled student teacher who taught our class. One day, she was walking from the class room and she fell out of her wheelchair, all the other kids gawked and looked and laughed. I was horrified, I couldn't bring myself to laugh or even to look. All the other kids took turns going to the door and staring out it. I was embarrased about it. When the teacher finally came back to the room with the student teacher, she said, "Everyone who went to look and laugh has to stay in for recess. If you didn't look, you can leave." I was the only one who stood up and the teacher glared at me as if I was a liar and a cheat, so I sat back down and stayed inside for recess. I felt cheated somehow. I was angry because I felt cheated for being the only one who couldn't laugh at the misery of others. I hated myself for this, I hated the teacher for not believing me when I said I didn't look and I didn't laugh. I hated feeling that childish.

I know I am not a crone, nowhere near, but I would love to be, for some reason it just seems right. It is because of things like this that when I grew older, that I decided to get in touch with my inner child. This is a meditation I wrote to help me with that.

Inner Child Meditation

1. Relax all of your muscles by flexing each one for a few moments, then releasing.
2. Take deep, slow breaths at a metered pace.
3. Curl into the fetal position, shins and head resting on the ground, arms hugging around your chest.
4. Visualize yourself as a child, slowly allow yourself to become that child. Being reborn from the inside out.
5. Sit up and smile. Yes, smile, smile like you did when you were a child, be the child you were.
6. Laugh. Laugh like you mean it. Laugh for no real good reason other than to laugh.
7. Play. Have some blocks or clay there to play with for a bit, let yourself have some fun. Embrace your inner child, be your inner child.
8. Relax again. Go back to the fetal position. Allow yourself to 'grow up' again. while in this position.
9. Breath slowly, allowing yourself to reach your normal rhythm.
10. Stand up and be the grown up who cleans up the mess.

Walk the Open Road

Posted by Utopia at April 17, 2005 04:05 PM

Comments

Post a comment