Cons and Explanations
I haven't done an entry for a while; I haven't written anything proper or interesting for a long time. I really haven't been feeling myself lately if I'm honest, so I took a short while off from blogging and templates and code of any kind. I still kept up with my blog reading as best I could in between the freelance work I am doing for a local firm, getting to mess around with their websites and databases etc, though I probably missed a few blogs. (Though I hope nothing important.) So cons to Utopia for being Queen of Fuck, Lady of Supreme Fuckage and all round Fucker. I am greatly eager to see WebKittyn's new template, too. If I missed anything that anyone did, I apologise.
I have been pondering a lot over what this blog is -for-, why I write entries in it and whether there is really a point to me doing so. Mostly, I enjoy making templates more than doing the actually blogging, (though that is just as much of an addiction), because I have difficulties sometimes expressing myself properly. I'm really very shy sometimes in RL, mainly due to a disorder which makes me sometimes feel that noone really understands me. The things I am interested in I tend to blabber about a lot, I can't always sense tone or hidden meaning to speech - I only understand the words which are spoken very literally and often my body language or expression can be very inappropriate. Although these things don't affect me in text, and I have always been a geek when it comes to language and literature, I think that I still fear being isolated from other people because of them. Perhaps that is why I don't always write much in my blog entries - I have a lot to say, but I learned through life it is best to keep it for myself. I can't quite get past the thought that noone will understand.
I suppose really all I wanted to say in this post past the explainations was that I plan to try harder to get past all this, to remember why I started blogging in the first place - For me, not for others.
So. I defer. Until next time.
Comments
I have missed you.
I think you have a lot to say but as you have said you are AFRAID of being misunderstood or looking stupid. You are far from being Stupid..
I say FUCK what other's may think of you, that is what blogging is for, to express yourself..who gives a FUCK if X likes it or not...move on Fucker, go read some blog that gives you a hard on if that's what you are looking for.
Write for YOURSELF Sera and if people like it than fine if not you still have gotten your feelings/emotions out.
We need outlets to express ourselves, blogging is a good way of doing that without having to deal with humans on a one to one or group level..I like that.
Just my thoughts..
word
tc
Posted by: Top cat | March 5, 2006 06:33 PM
You do have problem with expressing yourself in an understandable way or come to that reading second layer of information. But you seem to be getting better :) Suppose you just started trying :)
Brong.
Posted by: brongar | March 11, 2006 09:21 AM