Jellyfish
My mother, is a jellyfisher. This won't make any sense unless you have seen the second 'Bridget Jones' film. By my definition, this is not a good film. However, it does bring to light a curious - if sadly true - personality trait which my mother seems to share...
dict - Jellyfisher-- A person with whom an ordinary conversation feels like being stung repeatedly, as if in a vat of jellyfish.
For example, here are the stings of yesterday;
- My face looked like 'an octopusses ass'.
- I was getting fat.
- My hair needed washing.
- "What are you wearing?"
- I 'dont deserve' a church/big white dress wedding, anyway.
- 'Certainly not a choice I would make' Re: Hubby
- 'Very stupid, no excuse for such a bad decision' Re: Kids, risk of autism.
- I walk like a farmer.
- I looked like a 'God knows what'.
- I don't know how to wash a saucepan.
- And many more I don't specifically remember.
Stings = 10. Hours spent with Mother = Approx. 4.5 Average S.P/H (Stings per hour) = 2.2
(Please excuse me if my math failed as usual... another drawback of being me.)
Therefore, I have the scientific theory that, based on 2.2 stings per hour, one week living at my mothers house would now leave me depressed and likely highly suicidal. Geeze. I love my mum.
New Species: Motheris Jellyfishis Stingus. (actually a Moon Jellyfish.)
Comments
That's just crule, but I can understand the personality. I know a lot of people have this trait. Many people in my family have this trait. I try very hard not to insult people. I bite my tongue when the quips pop into my head because I know it would hurt their feelings. Many people don't bother biting their tongues.
If it makes you feel better, my father once spent an hour straight insulting me over being a genius.
Remember, we can pick our friends, our family we have to suffer through. Keep the people who make you feel good close. It helps.
Posted by: Utopia | January 4, 2006 03:47 AM