Restless
It's around one-thirty in the morning at the moment. I woke up at one-o'clock, as my sensitive English-Trained ears honed in on the one sound I truely love and miss in this country - Rain. By one-fifteen I had my elbows leaning on the window frame, breathing in the damp air, having rescued the washing and accidentally woken up Hubby. Oops. Anyway, now I'm really restless, so I left poor Hubby to his sleep and came out here to the computer to blog my restlessness. I read a few blogs, (In case anyone is interested, WebKittyn has a rather amusing post on snow in N.Y and eating yuppies.) and sat here wondering and pondering.
I wonder if I am giving up to easily.
I am pondering whether going back to England is the right thing to do.
Yes, I miss England like hell. Yes, I can't get a decent job here. Yes, Hubby can't get a job here at all. But I've only been over here six months. Hubby three months. Is that enough time for me to give up totally? (I can tell you one thing, it's enough time for me to miss having enough money to buy a teapot....please, donate to the 'Buy Sera a new teapot fund' *sob*) I don't know. More ponderation to come at a later date.
I do a lot of moaning in this blog. But hell, it's my blog. I don't force people to sit here and read it. My blog is one way I have of communicating. I don't communticate well, at all. It's not my fault per se, I was born this way. I have a distinct blockage between myself and others. But I try like hell to get past it.... thanks for helping ;)
Comments
I didn't find a job for about 5 months after huffing it across country here. I'm not working in my field now, but it's not a bad job aside from the stiffling boredom that overtakes me from time to time. (Though I think the boredom thing is me and not my job.)
I was ready to call it quits here. I still ponder from time to time. I miss the desert, I miss my friends and I miss green chili, but I guess adjustment takes time.
If you are feeling like you're not giving it a real chance, don't give up, maybe if you stick with it, something really great will fall into your lap.
Posted by: Utopia | December 16, 2005 01:59 AM
Sera, I'm fairly new to your blog so I am curious as to why you moved to Cypress in the first place.
You both NEED to be working, when you can't find a job or have a shitty one it makes you feel useless.
I think you both need to return home to England but that's just my humble kitty kat opinion.
As far as your communication skills..uh you are a bit reserved but there is something about you which brings me back time after time and I enjoy your posts, I think you are opening up a little bit at a time perhaps like the beautiful rose you have here on your blog.
I don't think you are whining or complaining you are speaking your thoughts, it's your blog that's what your'e supposed to do.
I'd gladly buy you a teapot for christmas.
peace,
tc
Posted by: Top cat | December 17, 2005 02:35 PM