Seraphim's Journal of Muses

I haven't written anything for a few days. I haven't been at the computer much I suppose. Dangerous - means I have been thinking! Eep! Thinking is always a bad thing, In my case. Tends to be depressing, or sometimes worse things than that. But hey, I'm not perfect. Never said I was - and I hope I never do. Only thing I'm good at is being me, which most of the time sucks horribly.
Im in SS pondering whether to RP or not. I don't know if I really have the energy or inclination; I ha ven't had the inclination to do much recently, heh. Not good. Getting lazier. But roleplay itself has seemed very pointless. I RP in a very particular way - Arlena is very much me, in certain ways. So there are things I wouldnt do with her, because I wouldnt do them in RL...and many things I DO do with her that I want to do in RL but cant. Slaughtering smiting blah blah. But the problem I have with RP is that most people who come near me for RP purposes... tend to just want to fuck my char. And.. I dont want my char to fuck them. My char doesnt want it, I dont want it, its just....no no no. I dont feel happy with doing that. Wouldnt stop anyone else from doing it, because I hate it when people tell me what to do...so I try not to ask much of others. But... yeah. Uncomfortableness.
Unfortunately my parents havent dissapeared off to Bulgaria yet. But I have high hopes that they soon will. Very soon. Oh Gods, it could not be soon enough. They want me to go for dinner on Friday. I know that the whole point of this excercise is that they want to have time to inspect this strange male that seems to be loitering around my appartment. It is not nice of me to subject him to this. Its not nice to subject ANYONE to my parents. Its very unfair. Must think of some way to wiggle out of this.....
Hmm.
*goes to contemplate*

Posted by Seraphim at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been thinking about what to do with the template for this blog. I quite like the basic idea for this one, but it needs a little tweaking. I feel perfectly happy with it until I go and read some other peoples blogs. I just looked at Utopia's and its so darn spiffy that this one looks like a three year-old's crayon composition by comparison. But she is just generally brilliant with a brain the size of new mexico. Kudos for Utopia: Please insert here! Ahem, where was I....
Life has been alright for the past week. I've been pretty much happy, my liver has been behaving and the cat hasn't tried to kill me thus far. So I suppose I can't really complain -- but I will complain.
My mother wants to move to Bulgaria.
Bulgaria? By the Gods, she is crazy - Why?? Why Bulgaria?? She has never even been to Bulgaria!! I went to school with two guys from Bulgaria - Martin and Boris Pavlov. They were pretty nice. Except for Boris' habit of crashing his Dad's newest flashy car. As a side note, my mum taught Martin Pavlov how to read when he was in primary school. But! This tells her nothing about Bulgarians!! Gods, She's mad. The nasty part is that I really, really, really want her to go.
Bugger off.
Dissapear.
Sod away to the other side of the world and fucking STAY THERE.
Okay. For those who don't know, from that even, my mum and I don't really get on very well sometimes. Or ever. She's a bitch queen from hell. I blame all my neuroses on her, she screwed up my childhood and one day I will sue her for the price of years worth of therapy. But I love her anyway. Shes my mama after all ;)
Anyways, enough babble for now.... back to pondering about my template. I'll just try not to look at any of Utopia's blogs. Or I'll only have to come back here and praise her again, bah humbug. (I love you really Utopia, but by the Gods - your too good!!! :P)

Posted by Seraphim at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I have nothing much to write to day.
I feel sick, mainly from nerves I think, but also from this pain-in-the-ass bug that I seem to have had for days, which just wont shift.
I have been running around for days dealing with flights etc and spending far too many hours in airports.
I am tired.
I am exhausted.
I am excited.
I am nervous.
I am all this, and I am somehow nothing.... too numbed to notice any of it.
How sad, as I should really appreciate this.
*goes off to ponder and muse*

Posted by Seraphim at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Take me home - Send my soul away

When I first came,
To this Island,
That I called by,
My own name,
I was happy,
In this fortress,
In my exhile,
I remained.
But the hours,
Grew so empty,
And the ocean,
Sent her waves...
In the figure,
Of a woman,
And she pulled me
Out to sea.
On the altar,
Of a sunrise,
Was a wedding,
In the waves.
And inside her,
Shown a young light,
From her labors,
I was saved.
Though I've travelled,
So long in darkness,
In her harvest,
Im still embraced.

Posted by Seraphim at 01:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I decided it was finally time to start sorting out the mess which moving from England had left me with. For those who don't know, I recently moved to Cyprus from England (where I have lived all my life) and along the way several crates of my belongings got smashed and destroyed - CD's, PS2 games and books, mostly.

Here is a list of the CD's I have been left with... pathetic isn't it? The boxes which were damaged were the ones nearer the front, which were the ones I packed last....and therefore the ones which generally had my most frequently-used and much-loved posessesions within them. Ah, woe is me. But still. I have set up an Amazon wish list for myself, Here just so I can slowly buy back everything I once had - because things like this are difficult to get hold of here, for me - so it will all have to come from Amazon anyway.

Back to sorting for now, more later.

Posted by Seraphim at 08:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)