THE END OF DAYS
Talking to Kallin of the ToD Mud, and figured I should probably explain this. Don't you know it is truely the end of days for this planet, life that we know will soon collapse into utter chaos, and we'll be set back by several centuries. Using our "Razor" cellphones to carve a stick into point to kill the polluted fish to eat, because there is no world as we know it, no Long John Silvers to serve use a wedge of fish, because the chain supply of fish stopped, because the world exploded.
Now I don't mean exploded into small pieces, but I see bad things brewing in this world, and I hope for god sakes that the retard we call president doesn't fuck this up. Please oh mighty Jesus who rose up for our sins today to shed chocolate bunnies, creme filled eggs, and as a cruel joke hid eggs all over the place, actually come down and guide this special education student called the president into doing the right thing.
I couldn't tell you where the US Forces are all over the world, but from what I have gathered. Currently of course we are struggling with Iraq and trying to get them to form their own government. We're in Afganistan searching for ye old Taliban and Osama. And we're stretched on troops in those areas, and never claim that I don't support the troops, I support them completely, they are our protectors and guards, and they are following their orders....
Unfortunatly those orders are coming from Bush's Bert-n-Ernie Playphone from the Oval Office. Back to the troops, we also are basically Japan's military, correct? And we have bases in Korea making sure the communists don't come charging into S. Korea. So there's two more countries we're in.
Now....Iran. This can go one of two ways. The first would be to get Iran to stop fucking with nuclear power, so they can make a bomb. Yes they consort with terrorists, yes they are probably evil, keep your friends close and keep your enemies CLOSER. Why not say hey, you want to make a nuclear power plant, well let the good old USA show you how its done, you don't want to be getting help from Russia now do you, cause well....Russia's pretty big and you don't want another Chernobyl, probably take out your entire country.
We build a nuclear power plant that is supervised by both countries, unholy security making sure none of the plutonium escapes outside the facility. And maybe things will go well, or they'll send a nuke somewhere. That's why we take up Ronald's Star Wars plan, cause he was smoking some good shit when he wrote that, and we could probably easily do it now a days.
Think about it, all that money we are spending on sending probes deep into space. I'll admit the mars probes we will need, we need to explore that planet in case this one decides to die, or we destroy it, or global warming (if real) destroys it. And about global warming, I say its probably happening, but you hear all this shit on "Ice Age", if Captain Planet hasn't taught us nothing that there should be a "Fire Age". Think about it. But the other probes can wait, cause one of them will fall into an alien planet killing most of their race, then we got pissed off aliens.
So now we're protected from Iran and any other country in the world. We're happy, the world probably will go back to ignoring us, Iraq will form a country, la la la.
OR.....
Bush with his Bert and Ernie phone pushes Iran's buttons, along with the UN and the rest of the world. So now the world is pissed off at Iran cause they will not cut it out. This is simple. All the leaders of the world, with the exception of Iran will gather. They will all agree on doing one thing after much talking. Everyone will drop a nuclear bomb on Iran, and we'll wipe it off the face of the earth. Yes alot of innocent lives will be lost, but the world (not the united states) needs to say to the middle east, FUCKING SHUT UP AND FLY RIGHT, ELSE GET OFF THIS CRAZY ROCK. Iraq will promptly form a country.
BUT PROBABLY?
I heard something about the US using a nuclear bomb to destroy their bunker? I'm sure the rest of the world was like "wait hold up, you haven't dropped a bomb on someone since World War 2....". Bush promptly orders the nuclear bomb to be dropped on Iran from the Bert and Ernie phone. A nuclear bomb will be brought to Iraq and flown to Iran via Stealth Bomber, they will take our Iran's nuclear operation.
Now Iran will get pissed, and cry because they wanted a nuclear power plant. Russia steps up to the plate and says hey, we've got nuclear wessels and shit, we'll build you a nuclear reactor. So Iran and Russia together build on despite the screaming United States.
The US will want to know why our friend Russia has done such a thing?! Russia will claim its not right to disallow the country from developing the nuclear plants. We'll say they're making a bomb, Russia will claim it is overseeing everything and that no bomb will ever be made.
This is when it will go wrong.
The Russian Space Station will have a major piece of it break off, it will rotate and form a space cannon. To prove its point and how evil they are by turning the cannon towards German and erasing it off the face of the planet, due to all the trouble they caused Russia during the world wars. The US will scream and push the button, releasing cold war aimed nuclear missiles at Russia, but the eastern end that really has nothing in it, Chernobyl already fucked that up.
Russia will fire off their cold war nuclear missiles aimed at the US, half of them will fall in Eastern Russia adding to the nuclear flames. The other half will fall on the west coast of the US, obliterating Microsoft, San Fran, LA and all of Hollywood, including parts of Mexico. Iran will nuke Israel but not before Israel sent their counter attack destroying Iran. Pakistan with no where left to go nukes parts of India, while China invades the rest for room, taking over the technology known by India and all those "us" trained guys. North Korea invades South Korea and takes out our troops, cause they were all in Iraq and Afganistan. Kim Jong Il promptly builds boats and invades Japan.
The US will head for Japan to defend itself against the communists once again, telling Iraq to go fuck itself and its on its own, but hey, Iran is gone. Europe will bitch slap russia and take out Moscow with a nuclear strike, killing the beast. China will promptly take over Russia and counter attack Europe, wiping it out. The US invades Japan while sending others to Europe, now we're deep in World War 3.
The US will free the Europe from China and we'll get Japan back. Australia will have our backs since everyone forgot about them. But we also forgot about others. South America and Africa will remain the same, probably laughing, but for the hell of it Columbia nukes Mexico.
The US Aussie Forces will seem to be making progress, at least pushing China back into its own borders. Pakistan will take control of what is left of India, and Iraq will not form a government, but be taken over by Turkey. Since the US is no longer in the area, no one will care. Turkey promptly thrives on a new oil industry, and sells it to us for a moderate price.
But then the United States gets it. But from whom.
Cuba will promptly dust off the 1969 nukes that are still there, and will take out the Southeastern parts of the US up to roughly Washington DC, which will burst in flames just from the Fall Out. The rest of the United States will take the death blow and be invaded by....Canada.
Happy Jesus Zombie Day.