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June 25, 2004

Random Thought

Click It, You Know You WANT IT.

Random thoughts, right now as I blaze and watch That 70's Show, I see one of these new fangled inventions, that someone keeps coming up with. Actually, I like the idea, and might even try them. Brush-Ups, that little thing you put on your finger, than use your finger like it was a brush.

But the commerical disturbs me. I don't know, when they slip it on their finger, heh. I don't know, anyone else having flashbacks of "High School Health". You know, its funny, in my school none of the teachers had evil nicknames, the kind we make up to make fun of them, nothing offical except for our Health Education Teacher, Mrs.Ginder AKA THE GRINDER.

So you know, this Brush-Up Commerical does nothing but bring up horrid memories of a late 50s year old, kind of butch female health teacher, who was all into more manly things, like wood-working, probably welding, butch-women. And of course, short hair, and I don't remember or never knew or cared enough to know, lesbian or not, probably, butch, short hair, haven't I seen a poster somewhere like that?

And she was the only teacher who did this. So picture this person sliding a condom over her fingers, showing how to properly put one on. And that's not the fucking half of it. My fondest memory of the class was the day she brought the pouches out, and revealed fake canerous nuts, and proceeded to have the entire class squeeze this nut, to feel its cancer. Of course, not real looking, but shapped as one, size of one, etc. I think we had breasts too. But my mind is foggy.

Then making love to the plastic person, and the plastic baby. CPR training, god, here, go tongue this doll in front of the entire class, and use this cloth thing we handed one out to everyone so we don't spread disease.

Our favorite thing, and this was Home Ecs, not Health, so I never witnessed it first hand, was the fake baby in Home Ec. I remember the old way and the way our school had gone (which both ways came from this school, just a 10 year difference). The old way was ye old flour sack with the painted face, which I know most people flung into a corner of their room until it had to be returned. The people in our school (and I saw I think at least one guy with this doll) had this electronic freakish anti-home-abuse baby doll. Looked semi-real, but it was electronic, and programmed to do random stuff, I think shit, piss, eat, sleep, cry, like a real baby. And it recorded how it was taken care of on a disk or something, so the teacher would know if per say you, beat the living crap out of the fake kid, like a redneck. So of course if female friends ended up with this thing, I remember someone on our bus had it, and sadly I was with a friend by the name of Duane, who together we did nothing but cause havoc. I always suggested things and made evil comments, other people did my bidding, so of course I said lets fuck with it, and he tried.

Guess High School was fun, now its nothing more than a faint puff of smoke in my slowly burned out mind.

And I got some more trucker tips for you people, since I have a job driving and deal with low D Class Drivers everyday, the young, the old, the stupid. Despite my skill to pilot a 72 foot articulating vehicle that can weight in at 40 tons, I have gone to driving a 20 ton box truck capable of hauling only 10 tons worth of cargo, probably more. But here are my tips.

DO NOT PARK IN FRONT OR EVEN CLOSE TO THE FUCKING ICE CHESTS OUTSIDE OF STORES. I wish my truck had a highway plow on the front, I'm sick of people being in front of those chests, or morons who think hey, lets fucking drive behind this semi-large truck that is currently backing up. Sadly that one person who did it, was a one legged man walking around on crutches. So for that I let it go.

Lets see, I won't say please do not make your turn when the truck is 30 feet away doing 35mph, someone did that to me today, causing me to brake hard (learn to control your brakes too people, don't just slam them, that locks the tires and makes the car skid, but you can stop hella-quick if you press just hard enough). Some old lady too I think, luckly which with these little box trucks it wouldn't matter, my cargo of ice was totally gone, just pallets and a big wooden box that holds ice blocks. Only thing that could go wrong was, shit sliding forward, and if I had ice, the pallets falling over. 285 bags stacked 6 feet high on a wooden pallet and wrapping in plastic don't stand up alone well.

Can't complain about everyone passing me...despite the fact I'm doing 65 in a 55 zone. And no bitching because I'm going 35 through the mountains, the roads are good, but roads that have signs that look like the ones from PeeWee's Big Adventure...yeah, no. Wouldn't want to take a truck through there, nor down this one highway. I actually encountered my first hair pin turns on a "major" highway for up here, going along the base of a mountain, which around here are small, Adirondaks (sp?) Mountains are tiny, they be ancient and worn down, unlike the Rockies which are tall, jagged and young. But still, steep mountain side to my right, cement wall and a river 10 feet below in this almost canyon type area. Oh wall, 15mph recommended speed mr.yellow sign? Sure, 35 is good enough, heh. I didn't even look, I feel how the vehicle handles more than the speed.

Anyways, my brain just melted.

June 02, 2004

21st Century 1950s

Just a random thought...

Been watching automotive shows all night, which is unusal for me, when I am into cars more than your usual 21st century person. While sitting here watching a show on the new Shelby Cobra, and hearing the guys talk, came to a quick conclusion.

With Chrystler of all people producing slick looking cars like the Crossfire, and I got to say I've noticed Pontiacs are begining to look real sleek, I think we're entering an automotive age kind of like the 1950s, or 60s. Might just be me, but it seems cars are becoming more shapely, smoothed and fine, unlike the cars from the mid-70s until now, and not just things like the Viper, cars that will be affordable to a bigger crowd, not just the very well off. Which is kind of what the GTO was (oddly enough it was reborn). The GTO was a fast moving vehicle that was priced that the middle class could buy them. From what it seems, we are getting faster cars, but we're also getting sleek lines with them, fat interiors, etc. Which is cool, I'd love to have an era of flashy cars that'll end up being the "classics" of my generation, that isn't a god damn ford escort or some rice burning Fast n Furious rusted out honda with a shiney spoiler that doesn't do anything until 160mph when these cars top out at 85 because the owners known nothing but that damn movie. Heh.

And let me speak on the GTO, since I am one who worships that line of cars. Ask anyone who knows me, concidering I'm surrounded by 5 expensive die-cast models, and my wall clock that looks like a speedometer. Now yes, I've been one saying "lets remake the car, but lets do it right", and saw the fucking batmobile that was the 2000 Concept Car, or let me laught, the Canadian Edition 1994 Pontiac GTO, which was a Grand Am with a tweaked engine, the logos and leather seats that said GTO. No one really knows about this car, but since I"m next door to frogtown, I've seen one, and just the one, for the past many years.

I've watched others bitch about the new GTO, it needs hood scoops, it needs a spoiler, it needs more lines, jesus christ pontiac what the hell are you doing, it looks like every other car you have, what the fuck, its built in austrialia and based after one of their cars.

Yeah...that's not me, that is what I've seen on forums and shit about the car. Well let me go with my thoughts, as a GTO worshipper. First, lets forget about it being an Aussie Car and made in Aussie Land, that is the fact of the 21st century, everything comes from random countries, be it USA or USSR. So I personally don't give a fuck about that.

Ok, down to a point so I can go to bed, basically about the look of the car. Now personally, I would have taken like either a 1965, 1969, or a combo of all of them and "modernized" it the correct way, sleek it out but keep its looks, like the Ford T-Bird kind of did. But Pontiac did go the right way. They did what Pontiac did in 1963 when they designed the car. They took something that was already being made, and put a bigger engine in it. Now in 1965 the people who designed the car (which includes Delorian if you didn't know) were sneaking the design by the big-wigs of GM and Pontiac, they didn't want the pontiac division to make a fast vehicle, GM was anti-car-racing in certain areas, since the sport was just a newborn. So they took the mid-size Tempest, and threw a heavier suspension, bigger motor, and a few frills on it, and boom, GTO. Even stole the name from Fararri (sp?) to make it sound fast. They got past the big-wigs by making it an option. The wigs didn't think anyone would want them, and the sales exploded. Took 2 years for the company to make the car directly, and not just an option on the Tempest.

And I feel that is what Pontiac did this time, without having to sneak around about it. They took a mid-size car, and made it fast with a V-8, snazzed up the interior, made it flashy but not over the top, and semi-cheap for cars today. I'm going to get one, I want an original which I do have a rusted up junk one I tried to save, but she died before I could save it. But I'll own a new one, it'll be used though, cause I'll wait and see what they do with the car, if it survives.

Peace-Out.