The Mooted Point: December 2006 Archives

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December 26, 2006

Not feeling very well right now. I think all this stress and lack of sleep is finally catching up on me. I'm having all manner of physical problems right now. I just hope I don't end up having to go to the hospital.

Posted by Ravennacht at 03:01 PM | Comments (0)

December 18, 2006

Cereality

I was flipping through the channels earlier and saw a piece on this new food experience called Cereality, where the restaurant is completely dedicated to serving the cereal you want, the way you want, when you want it. What a great idea!

The employees wear pajamas. You can mix two scoops of your favorite cereals together with one of toppings and endless milk. Drool. You can even make your own boxed version of what you like for later.

This would be the franchise I would buy into and park right on a college campus. Who doesn't like cereal! Crispix mixed with shredded wheat and bananas here I come.

Posted by Ravennacht at 10:15 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2006

Charisma

Source: www.dictionary.com
Charisma:

1. A rare personal quality attributed to leaders who arouse fervent popular devotion and enthusiasm.
2. Personal magnetism or charm

Charisma is something that dumbfounds me. Its like a bright beacon that draws others to the person that has it, shadowing everything and everyone around them. What kind of mentality exists in the mind of a person with such charisma... is it self assuredness, self-centeredness, extrovertism, a love of being the center of attention?

Being the opposite, the introvert, the person that wants to drift to the back, away from the center... I find myself observing those that exhibit this infectious characteristic upon the masses. What powers the intensity. What powers the drive. I just don't really get it. I am certain I don't have much of it.

Posted by Ravennacht at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

December 08, 2006

Pin my name to me... I forgot it.

I don't feel especially well right now. I think the tribulations of the last two weeks are finally catching up. Had a serious back flare up for three or four days, then my knee started, then progressed to other issues. All relating to my lack of sleep during that time and the stress from diverse situations. I don't embody stress well... then again few do.

Today was a hellish day at work too. Trying to catch up four classes of clinicals for National testing tonight (written) and tomorrow morning (practicals) from a bunch of people that are procrastinators pretty much drives me crazy. I plan to sleep for a few days, maybe recover something or somewhat.

Ever notice how you forget lots of things when you are stressed, like words and things. It's ridiculous.

Posted by Ravennacht at 10:09 PM | Comments (1)

December 04, 2006

No Suprise here

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) You can never seem to calm down and always feel anxious for unknown reasons. You tend to not be able to concentrate and have headaches or other anxiety symptoms.
Paranoia
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Manic Depressive
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

Posted by Ravennacht at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)

World Traveler... Need to Kick Back Into Action!

December 03, 2006

Memories of a Ceremony

I didn't think I would break down like I did. I suppose it shouldn't really have suprised me. I haven't been back to the cemetary since grandmother passed some time ago. When I was there last, I pretty much broke down bodily and mentally. I thought I was ready... I had even steeled myself to it. So much for preparation.

I remember standing in the circle with the family about the stone while the priest was ministering. I naturally positioned myself on the outside right, just to have some space for myself. I kept looking away from the marker to the right... there was a tree there, still bearing autumn blossoms that had yet to fall... all quite brown and dry but yet still clinging to the tree as they had when the blossoms were alive... still there even after the leaves had all fallen quite away. I kept thinking about that... how the blossoms were still there even after the tree had gone dormant... even after the green foliage had all gone. I kept thinking about it, my eyes sliding between that and the stone with my grandmother and grandfather's names on it. A few sentences from the minister kept creaping into my consciousness thou I wasn't really paying attention. I mouthed the words to a few words by rote memory, not really present in it. Eyes sliding to the tree. Eyes slide to the marker, tracing each letter with my eyes... the pain starts to build...shifting of feet. Eyes slide to the tree. Eyes slide to the marker. Finally I broke, stepping back away from the others, to lean against the car and try to regain control of myself, weeping uncontrollably.

My aunt, Rita, had bought a rose for each of the children, and each of the grandchildren. As the priest closed, we each stepped forward and layed our flower upon grandfather's ashes. I tore a petal from mine and clutched it tightly... destined to be pressed in my Bible as soon as I could get home. The scent of roses was strong. The wind picked up sharply, blowing hard for but a moment. I took it as a sign from grandmother that she finally got her hands back on grandfather. I can imagine she has much to discuss with him. I found it humorous for some reason.

Several of my cousins started breaking, I tried to comfort them as I could, reminding them that we were all here and that it was okay. Funny how you don't always believe what you say yourself. I always hated when people said certain things at funerals to comfort.

All of my grandparents are now gone. Even at 35, that causes me pain. I was close to my grandparents. I often flew down to Florida just to spend Christmas with them on my own... setting out all their ornaments, their tree... wrapping presents for the younger children... I was just so happy to be near them. When grandfather moved here, I often went over just to talk to him and visit. He called me quite often. Even though he aggravated me, I liked talking to him, because he was the only one I had left. Now, it is over... I have only memory. I am comforted, at least, in feeling that I said everything I ever needed to say to him while he was here.

No, I wasn't there at the moment that he died. I have been there for too many now, I have seen the moment of release. I think I can only bear to do that for my brother and mother, God forbid, when that time comes. I bear no guilt to how I dealt with this. I have learned and am at peace with it. I hope the others can be as well.