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October 05, 2005

Chat with an old friend

I ran into one of my friends (Tina) from high school and elementary today whilst in Walmart. I think I shocked the living daylights out of her because all she kept saying was how different I looked... how old we are getting, etc. Do I look that old? I don't feel that old. Methinks the early greying from the sundry pressures, the cancers, the family, etc are taking a toll. O well.

We talked for a bit, with my stomach in knots pretty much the whole time. Not from any real reason but my usual anxiety crapola kicking in. Illogical considering this girl used to live behind my house, I would run up the hill to swim in their pond every day. And yet, I still feel like a freak. I could feel the sweat gathering on my brow... I kept dancing on my feet, and looking at people around me like a caged animal. I had to have freaked her out. I definitely freaked myself out. Ridiculous.

It feels odd to me to see my friends with children. It must be some thing where I seem them as I last knew them. I don't know.

She asked if there was going to be another reunion soon, a fact to which I have not a clue. She said the last was quite fun. Something I missed owing to my panic attacks (I paid to go and everything.)

Personally, I don't think there are that many people that really care if I were to show up or not. I wasn't especially the most social person. The bookworm, quiet one.

There's quite a few people from high school that still refuse to acknowledge my presence even when I stand in front of em and say "hello" (something I didn't used to do at all). Some things never change.

Posted by Ravennacht at October 5, 2005 01:16 AM Posted to Daily Trivialities