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July 07, 2005

Teen Boy Survival Guide

My fourteen year old cousin has been here for the last two weeks. I have cemented a few issues with him during his stay just to survive his teen angst filled antics:

1. "Why" as a response to a request is not acceptable. It merely precipitates a cycle of "Because", "Why", "Because", "Why", ad infinitum.

2. The living room is not a shoe closet.

3. The standard human eating cycle includes three square meals, not six, not eight, not ten.

4. A heavy sigh is not an appropriate response to all communication, It merely indicates a breathing disorder.

5. Requests for services should be completed after the first or second request not a day later or when you feel like it.

6. No one's mind is so bad that they need to be reminded of a daily event (take your daily medication, etc)

7. If one is allergic to something, one does not dabble with it (do not eat things you are allergic to, do not hold the cat to your face.)

8. The toilet seat must be placed in the horizontal standby position following use. Additionally, there is no damage to the plumbing system which prohibits the flushing of said system following each use.

9. Percussion is for drums and bands, not tables, posts, etc.

10. The house is not meant to shake when one moves from room to room. It is always best to walk with a light foot rather than club about like an ogre.

11. "Leet" and internet terms are not an acceptable spoken language.

Posted by Ravennacht at July 7, 2005 10:42 AM Posted to Childhood Antics