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June 22, 2005

When I grow up...

The first animated movie I ever saw was The Rescuers by Walt Disney. If that doesn't necessarily ring a bell, its the story of a young girl kidnapped by a crazy cajun lady with a pair of pet crocodiles. The girl's only hope is a pair of mice (Newhart and Gabor) and a wacky albatross.

It was that movie that made me want to be an animator when I grew up. A lofty goal, which I fell well short of, though I do find the thought amusing now. I used to spend hours drawing things with crayons, pencils, pens, chalk... whatever I could get my hands upon. But then, it was all quashed.

I don't necessarily remember what stole that remnant of self-certainty that I had as a child. The confidence that I was really really good at something. I have my suspicions. Its just not worth dredging anymore.

Now when I do anything artistic, it is very difficult for me to stay on task. Its become a chore. Nothing seems good enough. You can see my uncertainty in every stroke, jagged, abrupt... not smooth flowing. I can go months without completing a piece, and I am never happy with it. It just makes me sick.

What happened to the boy with the vision. How did he become this man?

Posted by Ravennacht at June 22, 2005 11:20 PM Posted to Memory Lane