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December 14, 2005
Love? what is that?
When holiday's role around i always find myself thinking about this subject. I see my friends who have boyfriends they claim to love, or even a fiance. I know what love is, and no i don't believe there is different types of love. Love is sacrifice, plain and simple. If you love then you sacrifice going and hanging out with your friends to learn sign language because your sister is going deaf. You sacrifice alot of time and energy into your daughter's sports because you know how much it means to them. You sacrifice going to a concert because your older sister needs someone there for her. I could go on and on. I also think Love is the most over used word. I for one have never told another man outside of my family that i love them. I sometimes think, Is there something wrong with me? Am i impossible to fall in love with? Is there any man that can make me fall in love? At this point in my life i say no. Only because it hasn't happened.
The more i think about it, the more i think its more me than anyone else. I can still remember my coach saying to me when i was 12 "Do you lady's know what loses games?" and of course we said stuff like .. not practicing hard enough or whatever.. and Coach Steve would say.. "NO BOYS LOSE GAMES! lol. Maybe i am afraid of losing everything i worked so hard for. I have been told " you are so young, don't worry about guys" So maybe i am doing the right thing. All i know is i will be at the family christmas party, watching all my friends, family and cousin's with boyfriends. And me? ... well i will be with me :D and thats ok. I have never brought a boy to such an event. Heck even my twin brother has a girlfriend. Who i will meet for the first time. I am happy that i have what i have. My family has its problems like any other family. Since my dad saw me drunk for my the first time .. maybe he will sniff my eggnog when im not looking. My sister's fiance may ask me to dance again, and i will say no lol. My mom will be the perfect woman i have always known. My baby sister will probably be outside smoking pot. And me? I will love being with my family who loves me.............. Thats all thats really important. Christmas with the people you love.
Buttercup
Posted by DeAnna at December 14, 2005 09:35 PM
Comments
Makes perfect sense to me, Buttercup. As someone in her 30s who isn't looking to get married and have kids before my 'biological clock' ticks away, I can totally relate.
I'm not going to offer the usual hooey opnions, I'm just going to say be true to who you are. You've got a strong personality that doesn't need validation from having a mate, there's nothing bad about that. It grants you the chance to be choosy and wait until someone really knocks you off your feet rather than settle for what's there to assuage loneliness or insecurity.
You've got a lot going on in your life, embrace it all and continue doing exactly what you're doing. One of these days you'll run into someone completely unexpected and nature will run its course.
People 'love' for the wrong reasons, your head is in the right place and for you it will be for the right reasons when it happens.
In the interim, keep being you.
Posted by: WebKittyn at December 15, 2005 09:32 PM
I'm not sure I can say it any better than WebKittyn, but I will definitely second everything she said. Yeah, I'm married, but not because I went looking for it or felt like I "should." IMHO, you're definitely going about it the right way just enjoying and embracing life as it comes :)
Posted by: Tymora at December 19, 2005 11:19 PM