Oddly, as I watched it, I noticed...

...Bjork reminds me quite a bit of a modern day Eartha from this video.

Here: See what I'm talking about. Note the odd similarities and silliness.

You be the judge.

I was married once. Not many people knew that either. I was married to a Finn. That's a woman from Finland. Typical Aryan Nordic goddess looks, square jawed, blond hair, blue eyed. When I went to visit her homeland I found the travels to be interesting and educational, but socially inept on the global scale. Maybe it's because they have practically no minorities there. I mean, if you want Chinese food, there's a few Chinese people there who own...Chinese restaurants. The blacks (African Finnish?!?! Being P.C. SUCKS!) they seem to import are either American military or recruited blacks from black countries to be ringers on the basketball team.

Anyway... The first thing I noticed about this little country of 5 million was that they had gambling legal ...everywhere. It was like Vegas,.but all over. The second thing I noticed was that they rated their supermarkets not in a star rating..as in 1, 2 3 or 4 stars, rather they rated them in K's. The K's were at times the actual names of the stores. Suffice it to say, I had a bit of a problem walking into a store called the KKK market with a big old KKK lit up in red. This didn't help the fourth thing. The 4th was when I was in a pseudo mini mall and saw a bunch of kids at the cafe who looked rather punk and militant. They, I found out later, were Neo-Nazi skinheads. Why the need for them in a country as white as snow save for a few pebbles and some yellow pee in it, I don't know.

Oh.. I didn't list a third? That's because I went slightly out of my chronological order. In Finland I've tasted THE worlds best chocolate. Not from Godiva (of Hershey acquisition), Belgium or France, but from the Fazer candy company from Finland. In the supermarkets, I was craving to find some to bring back to the States. In my travels I found this:

Now...I stared at my then wife and held the candy in my hand and ask pretty blatantly: "What the fuck is this and what kinda fucked up backwards ass country did you get me stuck in?!?!?!"

She replied that they were called "Neekeri Kisses" as she said it in her Fin accent. I asked;"What?". She then explained that to me whatever the fuck she said would translate to "NIGGERS KISSES". "That's what I thought you said" I replied. She said they never thought anything about the logo there. I can see why. A country full of 5 million white people and no niggas and they're gonna go paste a black faced Aunt Jemima on their candy for kids to eat. Un fuckin' believable. This has burned in my head for 10 years and now I finally have a place to share this bizarre story.

I found a few articles on the subject. One on the subject is a 2005 blog entry from an American who has spent 5 years in Finland. 2 years later he tells us more on the story. In between those posts, in 2006, a post from "the Latest" also finds that there was a small outcry from the tiny black community (I'm guessing this community fits in a minivan) and as the prior blogs showed us in the 2207 article, there may be changes afoot.

But I mean...Come oooooooooooooooooooonnn!!!! LOOK at this and tell me what you think of this image:

View image

She broke herself down into 3 separate entities. Basically you could look at it as schizophrenia or just merely organizing and partitioning the brain and it's personality variations like a hard drive gets partitioned.

I think my last post addressed what some would call the "alter-ego". For the sake of this telling and the fact that no one knows my real name on the internet, I shall call the subject of my story; "John". I shall fabricate a high ticket retail vocation to represent what John does everyday to earn an existence and pay the bills until the planets finally align and he finally sells his album and songs and quite possibly becomes a musical phenomenon.

"John" sells "luxury cars" by day. He's an automotive professional in a high dollar per ticket environment. You could trust him for the "ride of your life". He does it well and is quite well compensated for his efforts. Were he a simpler man, he would be happy selling his little luxury cars , making a great living and if needed, could start a family and have the picket fence and house and 2.5 kids and a dog and a cat or two. The wife and kids could live in middle class comfort and security and grow up in a "Growing Pains" lifestyle and be none the wiser. But John is far too talented and gifted to let that be his lot in life. He strives for more.

It's not that he's striving...he's attempting to follow a destiny. Allegedly a pre-destination. A destiny of greatness. He created a sort of alter ego decades ago. He gave it a name... Then he created a unique style of music...then he gave it a philosophy. This was to lead to a movement and a subculture. Then he sought to forge it into a brand. Something marketable. He worked diligently, perfecting not only the music and the mystique, but the man. This is something not done overnight, nor is it done with a reality TV show.

The man under this persona was to be the epitome of the perfect man.The man's man. The every man. The uber man. The man of the world. Amusical leader of the masses. A future musical legend. A worldly man.A mystical man. A philosophical man. A teacher of those who refuse to learn conventionally. A man of the people, by the people and for the people...as a voice for the people. Not a small task and not a job that everyone desires, but he has chosen to take this mantle upon himself.

John feels that once he's reached that certain plateau, he will merge with that man permanently. John and his alter ego will become one in mind, attitude and psyche. I know this sounds bizarre, but think of it as the present catching up to it's future as we are our own futures past.

Oddly the alter ego is not yet perfect either. He can come off too brash, arrogant, conceited, snobbish, proud and even unfeeling. These are traits that John can purge from the alter ego. Johns personality will soften and humanize what appears to be a suit of iron armor that this alter ego appears to be. John knows compassion and mercy. He knows sorrow and pain and can feel emotion. He has a gentleman's soul and the spirit of the romantic. You see, upon merger, the two evolve into one collective of all things necessary to be all things to everyone. Or at least as many as will accept him.

Now what prompted this post. John was asked to go to an event where he might hob knob and network with other musical professionals. However, the person who invited John asked if it were OK to introduce him as John and not as his stage name, the alter ego. This did not sit well in his mind. You cannot sell a name, brand and image if you're ashamed of it. John was told these people would laugh at the idea. John doubted that as the music industry is full of stage names, alter ego's and pseudonyms.

Was Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers named that by his mother? Because they sure enough billed him under that when he had a part in Back to the Future as "Needles".

Bono Voce. Last I heard no one in Ireland had an Italian name. Let alone one that literally translated into "Good Voice".

Sting. Who are we kidding? He was Sting since the Police days and no one knew him under any other name.

Billy Idol? Was his mom and dad named British and American Idol?

Prince may have been born Prince Rogers Nelson, but when he changed his name to an un pronounceable symbol, that was not exactly a stroke of marketing genius.

Marilyn Manson actually explains how each of his bandmates got their names. The first name of a an iconic star and the last name of a serial killer. Other members of Mansons band had names such as Twiggy Ramirez and Madonna Wayne Gacey.

Eminem was a play on Marshall Mathers initials M.M.

Alice Cooper was a band before he decide to become the embodiment of it.

Meatloaf. I'm not gonna say a word.

I won't even get into the names of rappers and DJ's.

Historically, Muhammad Ali and Malcolm X did not have those names on their birth certificates.

Today we live with our handles like the CBers did in the 70's and 80's, 'til computer screen names became the new handles we have today. More people are prone to use their pseudonyms as a sort of alter ego for themselves and their email addresses and vanity plates are always an extension of their personalities. It's a way of life today and
probably forever.

John... Your alter ego is not Iron Mans armor. It's your combined strengths in one. Let the world know that together, you're gonna be one helluva person and we can't wait for the music to flow forth.

Speaking of which...the progress of the music project and it's latest developments are followed here at the Epichronical.

Has anyone ever asked you who you are? Worse yet is when they ask "Well who the fuck are YOU, anyway?". Not always does one have an answer unless they've already established exactly who they are. Only if that were the case, that question has no need being asked now, does it?

Some can already answer; "I'm a senior partner with Crane, Poole and Schmidt", or "I'm a Detective for NYPD Brooklyn South." or "I'm a surgeon at St. Johns Hospital".
These are all well and good and respectable, but not very insightful. I like to know the real person within, not just the goal they set and reached since childhood.

I want to know who you are inside. What makes you tick. Where your head is at in the spiritual realm. What talents do you have? Are you following your destiny? Are you using all your gifts and tools? Have you discovered your hidden inner power and are you your own superhero yet?

Who am I? I personally am not easy to explain. At least not in one sentence or an instant statement. Am I complex or just over complicating things? I could say both.

I'll tell you who I believe I am...then I'll tell you who I believe I'm supposed to be. You see, one must be able to list ones assets before they can establish who they are, no matter what age they get to be. Let's start by listing those assets. This is not horn tooting, this is just fact. This is the pinnacle point of reference I would point someone to, the next time I'm asked: "Who the fuck are YOU, buddy?"

Currently, I'm a man of many talents. I'm artistic, and an illustrator. I'm a singer, vocalist, songwriter, conceptualist. I don't know how to read or write music, but some might say my penchant for composing and lyric writing borders on idiot savant genius.

I'm an entertainer, an actor, a thespian and a pretty funny guy so I guess I could add stand up to the schtick.

I'm a writer, a salesman, a persuader, a debater, a politician. I'm gifted in gab and vox. I'm a people person. Charismatic, dramatic, sometimes flamboyant and even over the top. I command attention and oft times appear larger than life. I am a fair and generous leader who is a pleasure to follow.

I am an occultist and a Magus. I am magical, mystical, and powerful in said arts. I have taught and yet still learn. I am a philosopher, a dreamer, a visionary.

There. I have made my list. This list bothers me. It's not being a BOHA (Bag OF Hot Air), however it is the facts as they present themselves. I didn't ask for these gifts, yet they were bestowed upon me for a reason by forces I believe other than those you might believe in and for reasons I've yet to fulfill. I feel if I don't fulfill them then I will lose these gifts. They will be taken from me. One by one I will watch them fade. My voice may go, my wit may dull, my charisma may wane, my looks may fade, my energy may fizzle out and my spark will die as my flame is snuffed.

What I know first and foremost; my mission is not complete. I do know what my mission is... I just don't know how to relay it. Not many can understand it and those who do, might not approve of it. Then again, no one but a group of twelve approved of the Christ mission, either. This is not "what do you want to be when you grow up", it's "this was what I was meant to grow up to be."

So you see, the answer to who I am is not an easy one. This is not about maturity or being a dreamer or an idealist... This is about following destiny. The issue with destiny is that the more unbelievable it gets, the harder it is to take people seriously .

I'm an optimist. My glass is half full. Fortunately a recent study amongst many over the past decade have proven that my optimism will keep me younger and healthier than many other of the more detrimental moods like pessimism. Some say my optimism is based on following life with ignorance, blindfolds or lack of knowledge...and yet, the great question is; without innovation, creativity or the thought that the impossible is actually possible...how do you argue some of the worlds greatest discoveries and inventions created on these same blind principles and optimism?

Dr. Kellogg was working on a cure for masturbation when he invented Corn Flakes. I'll let you ponder that for awhile.

In reality, we can be thankful for at least some of the tech we've waited for. We wanted flip open communicators that responded to voice command, pocket sized computers, wrist sized televisions, robots that vacuum floors, talking devices that guided our journeys, pocket sized lasers (granted they don't cut holes through steel, voice activated cars, small micro chips that carry information and media, boxes that cook our foods quickly and more. The problem was that when we got them they didn't seem so cool anymore. The biggest mistake anyone can make is saying "when I get what I want, I'll be happy". I guess we'll want and want for things but when they finally come, they're not so interesting in reality.

Talking to a dear friend the other day, we wondered what a geek was these days. It used to be you were a geek if you stayed in the house in front of a computer all day. If you were obsessed with the latest gadgets you were a geek. If you'd rather communicate via electronics over face to face you were a geek or a nerd. That line is so thin now it seems the difference between being cool and being a nerd is whether like in Tron, you're a programmer or a user.

Today's kids live like they're cross wired with a central processing unit in their brains. I was in a Sprint store where the counter man noted that it's odd how more people would rather text than talk to people these days. In our technological age we've reverted to typing small notes that deliver themselves over the air as opposed to in a mailbox. We email more than we send regular mail and expect each email to be taken to heart and memorized. Even worse is the blogger. The self styled news journalist who believes each post they write is a major thesis or news column that all should heed as law. Oddly, I'm probably guilty of this too and I admit it. I sent every friend of mine over 30 feeling they were getting old the link to my "40 is the new 20" post.

Technology is dangerous. There are no geeks. We now sit in front of computers and our topics of discussion when we finally come face to face is whether or not you saw a "famous video" on youtube or not.

Our world is filled with new terms like "iEverything" and "somethingTUBE". There's an "i" in front of anything related to portable media and now there are "TUBES" for every subject popping up on the internet.

When we were younger and didn't know anything, if we wanted to know something we went to a dictionary or encyclopedia . Remember those huge books of knowledge you'd flip through? Now the general answer for "What's this?" is "IDK...GOOGLE it!". First of all. I hate people who talk in initials or L337 speak. Spell it out or talk. It won't hurt. Guess what? IDK and I DON'T KNOW have the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF SYLLABLES!

Since when did GOOGLE become the Great Gazoo of knowledge that is the only answer to life itself? By the way (saying By the way has less syllables than actually SAYING BTW ) if you don't know who the Great Gazoo is, well I guess you'll have to GOOGLE it then watch him on YOUTUBE.

Geeks: People who spend most of their time locked up in their rooms on computers writing programs so people can blog, make social portals like myspace and designing communicators that watch entertainment programs like YOUTUBE.

Cool Kids: People who spend most of their time locked up in their rooms on computers using the programs the geeks made. Enjoy your blogs and myspace watching youtube while texting on your communicator.

Pretty blurry line, huh?

My Rite of Ascension recently passed on June 28th. For you people without a shred of Klingon honour, we call that a birthday. Recently in the past few months I have been undergoing changes. Good ones. I'm coming into a sort of ....butterfly effect. People I'm in contact with are motivating me towards better things and assisting in self improvement. They are all helping and being quite supportive of me getting things together. First it was keeping my health in check, taking care of some essentials and a few mental kicks in the ass.

I've grown more metaphysical again. I've not felt like this since my early years as a metaphysicist. It's like I'm coming full circle to become the man I was destined to be... The one you've all been faithfully watching to emerge. I thank you for your patience those who've had it, and for those who giggle and make crude masturbation gestures they can go fuck themselves.

Just so everyone knows, Ill be updating pretty much all my neglected blogs, especially the Church of the Epical, Epichronical and the Darkhours blogs with updates as to what's been progressing.

Basically this is a just letting y'all know I'm alive and so is Webkittyn and Chuck who're both recovering well, Bey, Templeton and Ishmael are still being the lovable cats they are and I have a new camera so I can share with you pictures of what's been going on in my world.

Next entry...I tell you about how I was kidnapped to Six Flags by General Drucifer. Stay tuned.

Yay me!

I was watching The Big Idea with Donny Deutch on CNBC the other week, and I'm seeing trends today I'm amused at. In the Church of the Epical, we talk about building and being one's own Superhero, but now it seems we're trending towards a new sort of "immortality".

Allegedly, the human race now gets a second chance at life. The middle aged are now what I will coin the phrase as "middle ABLE". It appears that the latest generations of the "elders" are refusing to grow old gracefully. They believe that 50 is the new 30. Subsequently 40 is the new 20. This was now substantiated by that nights broadcast. That episode talked about midlife millionaires with book author Marianne Williamson who wrote THE AGE OF MIRACLES: Embracing the New Midlife. They brought in a panel of people that all reformatted their lives and careers by not letting the old ways of thinking get them down or set them back. See the video below.

We live in a new world where those old farts from 35 to 55 can actually start living or rather RE-living life. They consider their 20's as the practise run and that a decade or two later after they've become what they thought society dictated, they find they can now be what they always dreamed of! There was one guy who stopped being a lawyer and at 38 he decided to follow his dream of pushing onward and becoming a cartoonist. Another, a soccer mom, picked up a guitar and became a rocker mom now in a band called the Mydols who I'll be featuring on the Darkhours now that I have received their CD forthcoming in the mail. They basically showcased all these people that decided to go after and achieve their dreams no matter what. Should we thank that 51 year old guy in the Bowflex commercial? Who knows. All I know is that there's an immortality trend going on out there as we as a race become more health and longevity conscious . The push to ban and quit smoking, to design more revolutionary exercise equipment, to eat less fatty foods, to replace sugars that turn to fat...it's all prolonging life. Some Hollywood stars obsess too far, but in this day an age, it's more naturally done than with the plastic surgery and botox. I believe that that's also a new vanity point. To look young naturally without needing enhancements.

If you're like me, and you think you're past a certain age to do something like say....make a hit record, you're not. You no longer have to say "I'm past 25, let me go be a CPA now that I'm too old to make it" cause you're wrong.
The record industry is more of a money making machine that cares about revenue and marketability. Although, some of todays charting artists are younger, some of the current chart toppers are older established names that are accepted by all. Currently the number one album is Janet Jacksons new "Discipline " album. Janet turns 42 in May and she looks like she's 26 in video. It's a remarkable new world where you can be virtually immortal. If a record company likes your sound and you have the look to go with it, then you'll be signed no matter how old you are.

A new TV show on TV Land is called "The Big 4-0" which is about people turning 40 and really not going down without a fight. They do extreme sports, skydive, bungee jump and tons more things one wouldn't expect the stodgy 40 year olds of yester-decade to do. This only further fuels the forty-plus fire. We as a species are pushing for this new Uber-Man that if he cannot live forever, he will live much longer. 2000 years ago, you were married by 12,a major force in the community mid lifeing at 20, an aging man by 30 and dead by 50. So I guess it's only fitting that we can progress like this into the future.

At least I know that when I'm done with the music, selling it's not going to be as hard. It will be judged not on my age, but on it's quality, merit, marketability ,sound and vision. Most importantly , keep the blinders on and do not listen to "nay-sayers". Those are the jealous who see the greatness in you and want to see you fail.

Suffice it to say that the true test of ones self worth would be anyone who could afford to drive the streets today. So basically, if I see someone tooling around in a sports car with the roof off and no shirt and tie just meandering, it's safe to say they are independently wealthy. Especially if it's on a weekday.

She, basically stabilized , now lives with the realization that her life is different and forever will be so. Currently she's lonely. Not lonely in the "I need a man" type of lonely, but more or less distraught what with her mom under pressure and no one else really around to visit her. I go to do the Albany runs to see her when I can, but soon that will be an issue as I start to dedicate days to recording.

Her dialysis schedule fluctuates. Not the days, but the length of time. After an hour or so, her new meds combinations for the blood pressure oft times cause it to go from the 200's to drop viciously low to 60. The mental strain is possibly turning her into a "girl interrupted" where the use of the hospital psychiatrist may be beneficial and advantageous. She feels alone, forgotten and abandoned in some ways and I can understand that. I fear she is introverting and not answering the phones.

It's still ok to send stuff to let her know we remember her. She cannot access telnet based programming over hospital WiFi so she can't MuD. It's somewhat bleak and a daily struggle, but she forges on.

The latest of latest news is that she has another surgery scheduled possibly next Monday. This is for the fistula installation. That's where they attach an artery to a vein for the purpose of more convenient dialysis. This could very well lead to a discharge date somewhere in the next two weeks or so. With luck on her side, she'll be out of that hospital and home with her parents. This will be her scariest surgery yet. possibly more frightening than the one 2 weeks ago where she woke up in the middle of the procedure.

Tonight she got her 10th room mate. The jury's still out on this one. It's only been about 3 hours. The last one she claims was the best, but some of the worst were those with some really raucous bowel movements. I swear eating in that room was not fun. What I would miss is the food. They have some of the best hospital cuisine I've ever had. The cafeteria rate 5 stars.

Now she's moved rooms. Here's the drill for visits, packages, flowers, balloons, gift baskets and calls:
(see extended entry or permalink version)

518 262 0439

Webkittyn Update. Now besides the diagnosis, let's couple that with a new room mate who has a broken neck and a tracheotomy where you are forced to listen to her gurgle mucous, smell her shitting in her bed many times a day and having the room over run by nurses who clean the poo. I was there trying to eat a cheeseburger in the room the first day I visited, to the wonderful dining concerto of her horrid gurgling.

I'm in upstate New York and today I sat with her during her dialysis. This was not a fun ordeal. I have another friend who has to go through it also. Now let's talk about what she allegedly actually has.This was described as a condition where in its malignancy it acts like a cancer to certain organs in where it destroys what it chooses too... namely the kidneys. However... there are some upsides. There's a 20% chance she may not need to live with the horrors of dialysis. There's a long road ahead. There's many life changes involved. But I think the worst part for her right now is her having to spend her birthday away from her dad. I'll be there with her mom and some nurses who want to glom on her ice cream cake.

Feel free to leave her birthday wishes here or on her own blog. You can also call her. The number is in a prior post.

Anyway...she wants people to call her. She's very alone and 2 hours from her mom and dad. The phone number is 518 262 0408 Her room is E505a if you're looking to send her a card or something.

So far she's had transfusions, MRI, EKG, CATscans, Ultrasound on arms legs and kidneys cause she's covered in spots.and tomorrow she's once again afraid for her life as they get ready for a kidney biopsy tomorrow morning.

No one is happy.

Carry on.

Depending on where they can find a bed, there will be several places she might go.
Westchester Medical Center,Vassar Medical Center or some place up in Albany. Her blood pressure has skyrocketed as a result and her mom says that since her total of four seizures, her mind is seemingly only 25% there and in a state of mild dementia.

I wonder how many lives the Webkittyn truly has.