The problem with relationships today is that compatibility issues really screw up the works.
I have a friend (and I've discussed this on my show, The Darkhours) who has his share of quirks and fetishes, yet married a woman who is repulsed by said fetishes. What's the sense of that? Let me explain how bad it is: He has a foot fetish and his wife has ugly feet. You know this only leads to him needing to face his freak factor with another. Some might call that cheating even though there's no actual intercourse. Why a person would get involved in dating, let alone contemplating marriage without having all the secrets out on the table, I don't know. Barring illegal things like pedophilia, the mate should be accepting if not excited to participate in another persons sexual oddities. This is what makes partnerships special. Unless you're Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo.
So the thought here is about companionship vs. compatibility. How many relationships go bad because of things that just irk people, but they dealt with it out of desperation or the fear that there was nothing else available for them.
You have to take a list of your personal criteria. This has nothing to do with being shallow (ie: "I want her/him to have the biggest boobs/dick !" ), but with having compatible interests.
Anyone interested in reading further would see what I, so far , would call the criteria for my perfect mate and hopefully use this guideline list as something they can tailor to helping them find and keep the person of their dreams.
I preface this list with the belief that this is what I should have for myself once I (as an Epicalist who follows the belief that only after reaching life's objectives I should be allowed a trusting blissful relationship) have reached my goals.
Now I can only really use myself for an example, but maybe if people came with either an instruction manual or a list of necessary criteria, there would be a lot less divorce in the world.
I can only go into so much detail here on the internet but here goes:
1) The only physical attribute I'd like is that we look good together or at least compliment each other. A dark Jackie O to my JFK, Morticia to my Gomez, Emma Peele to my John Steed.
2) Recognizes my talents and genius and does not think that I need to be changed. Improved is OK. Change is an attack on my very essence.
3) Doesn't piss on my parade. Believes that having dreams is not only OK but that they are obtainable.
4) Preferably a singer. A good one. Doesn't mind going into song in public (I need to lay off the "Glee").
5) In the arts in general (musician, painter, graphic artist)
6) Doesn't smoke. (or at least doesn't taste/smell like one)
7) Doesn't drink (casual ok). Doesn't need to be drunk to be amorous. Doesn't smell of booze even when they haven't been drinking.
8) Sees the world through both the eyes of a child and a senior citizen.
9) Accepts that as a creative force, I may be childish, immature or even maddening at times.
10) Accepts that as an analytical force, I may brood at times.
11) Understands that for all the things I create (art, music) I am a perfectionist. When I say it's done, that's when you should show accolades or disdain.
12) Is an Occultist (accepts the Dark side).
13) Fetishist ...* Includes: willingness to explore more bizarre ones and not think of them as gross.
.........................*Will not engage in them "because I like it". This makes me feel liek an experimental lab rat.
....................... * believes in switchable equal power exchange.
....................... *is not a control freak.)
14) Likes costuming and doesn't think of dressing outside the norm of the "mundanes" is immature no matter the age.
15) Wouldn't think dressing for a Ren Fair or Sci-Fi Con is "childish".
16) Has an open mind to exploring ideas no matter how off color or wacky they seem.
17) Believes that anything is possible.
18) Doesn't look to change the good parts of me (like rewrite my lyrics or some shit like that).
19) Helps me correct the simply bad things about me. Improves me while accepting me.
20) Accepts and understands that my talents and abilities draws attention and should not be cause for jealousy.
21) Actually makes me laugh for once.
22) Has an off color sense of humor and laughs at bizarre things.
23) Does not need me to be the center of attention all the time.
24) Takes initiative and plans plans and even has back up plans when mine may fail.
25) Doesn't feel the need to compete with me.
26) Understands when I, like cats and Cancers like myself, need mutual personal space.
Now for the less serious:
Geeking out
27) Loves or likes: Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica TOS and SciFi in general.
28) Loves or likes: Comic Books and Superheroes (and related media)
29) Loves or likes: video games both home, arcade (and related media).
30) Loves or likes: amusement park rides and will go on them with me (not watch me ride them).
31) Loves or likes: electronics and gadgets and knows they are never far from me.
32) Loves or likes: Silly humor