Peter Parker: [Spiderman (2002) voiceover] "Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied."
Has anyone ever asked you who you are? Worse yet is when they ask "Well who the fuck are YOU, anyway?". Not always does one have an answer unless they've already established exactly who they are. Only if that were the case, that question has no need being asked now, does it?
Some can already answer; "I'm a senior partner with Crane, Poole and Schmidt", or "I'm a Detective for NYPD Brooklyn South." or "I'm a surgeon at St. Johns Hospital".
These are all well and good and respectable, but not very insightful. I like to know the real person within, not just the goal they set and reached since childhood.
I want to know who you are inside. What makes you tick. Where your head is at in the spiritual realm. What talents do you have? Are you following your destiny? Are you using all your gifts and tools? Have you discovered your hidden inner power and are you your own superhero yet?
Who am I? I personally am not easy to explain. At least not in one sentence or an instant statement. Am I complex or just over complicating things? I could say both.
I'll tell you who I believe I am...then I'll tell you who I believe I'm supposed to be. You see, one must be able to list ones assets before they can establish who they are, no matter what age they get to be. Let's start by listing those assets. This is not horn tooting, this is just fact. This is the pinnacle point of reference I would point someone to, the next time I'm asked: "Who the fuck are YOU, buddy?"
Currently, I'm a man of many talents. I'm artistic, and an illustrator. I'm a singer, vocalist, songwriter, conceptualist. I don't know how to read or write music, but some might say my penchant for composing and lyric writing borders on idiot savant genius.
I'm an entertainer, an actor, a thespian and a pretty funny guy so I guess I could add stand up to the schtick.
I'm a writer, a salesman, a persuader, a debater, a politician. I'm gifted in gab and vox. I'm a people person. Charismatic, dramatic, sometimes flamboyant and even over the top. I command attention and oft times appear larger than life. I am a fair and generous leader who is a pleasure to follow.
I am an occultist and a Magus. I am magical, mystical, and powerful in said arts. I have taught and yet still learn. I am a philosopher, a dreamer, a visionary.
There. I have made my list. This list bothers me. It's not being a BOHA (Bag OF Hot Air), however it is the facts as they present themselves. I didn't ask for these gifts, yet they were bestowed upon me for a reason by forces I believe other than those you might believe in and for reasons I've yet to fulfill. I feel if I don't fulfill them then I will lose these gifts. They will be taken from me. One by one I will watch them fade. My voice may go, my wit may dull, my charisma may wane, my looks may fade, my energy may fizzle out and my spark will die as my flame is snuffed.
What I know first and foremost; my mission is not complete. I do know what my mission is... I just don't know how to relay it. Not many can understand it and those who do, might not approve of it. Then again, no one but a group of twelve approved of the Christ mission, either. This is not "what do you want to be when you grow up", it's "this was what I was meant to grow up to be."
So you see, the answer to who I am is not an easy one. This is not about maturity or being a dreamer or an idealist... This is about following destiny. The issue with destiny is that the more unbelievable it gets, the harder it is to take people seriously .
I'm an optimist. My glass is half full. Fortunately a recent study amongst many over the past decade have proven that my optimism will keep me younger and healthier than many other of the more detrimental moods like pessimism. Some say my optimism is based on following life with ignorance, blindfolds or lack of knowledge...and yet, the great question is; without innovation, creativity or the thought that the impossible is actually possible...how do you argue some of the worlds greatest discoveries and inventions created on these same blind principles and optimism?
Dr. Kellogg was working on a cure for masturbation when he invented Corn Flakes. I'll let you ponder that for awhile.