Why can't people just get along?
Why are there people who dissapoint others?
Why can't old friends be as tight as they used to be?
There comes a time in ones life when you wonder if people outgrow each other. Do they get to a point where they just can't communicate? Is there a point where you no longer know what to say?
I feel remorse. I can't seem to make certain people in my life happy. Some don't get enough of my time. Others, when they get the time, don't get it in quality. I wonder, how I'm supposed to bring support and help and betterment to the world with this whole "prophet" job thing if I can't even help those closest to me.
My former muse... We just can't seem to connect anymore. I run out of things to say. Yes...me. I actually end up silent way too often. Maybe it's my environment. Maybe it's my mundane day job which keeps me stifled. Maybe I'm too lazy or tired to do anything about it. I hate that. Where's the energizer bunny that was me? Whats worse...if I want to create a topic...it revolves around ME. Nothing new or creative. Shameful for one such as myself. Sometimes I think it reflects in these blogs too. I don't want to be about me. I, like my music, am supposed to be about the people, for the people.
I need to get out of this drudging funk and put more effort into the needs of others. I know that sounds odd from an evil bastid like myself, but evil and mean are two different things.
Look people, I'm sorry I've changed... but I think I can jump start into something better. I'll know when it's better because when I get it right... I'll feel like a prophet and not just some malcontent. Let me apologize deeply as I have a few more miles of this journey to travel and I value those who stand with me. I truly do. To be an Epicalist is to be able to find bliss in all situations. How hypocrtical it is of me to not create and spread bliss to all.
Bliss in any form is pleasurable... Be it evil or good. That's just a state of mind anyway. I would simply like to be the delivery man. Somethings make you feel worse than others.
It's true... sometimes we outgrow certain relationships. It's very difficult, it hurts. Yet, sometimes it's essential to our growth and advancement. In the past few years I have lost 4 long term friends. There is meaning in it. I thought at first it was all my fault. Then I realized that I had outgrown some of these people. That I was READY to move on and to stop being stuck. The more you try to hold onto it the more painful it will be. You must let go and release. (LOVE)
Supplicated by: Leyla at August 13, 2005 12:34 AM