December 17, 2004

Ode to the Muse

The values of friendship are oft times incalculatable. Some friends are mere acquaintances, who don't mean much and then there are the buddies you hang out with or go drinking with... But the rarest, most treasured are the confidantes. The ones you share your deepest secrets with. The ones who know all your quirks and oddities. Some you trust implicitly, yet those who betray your trust become a side hobby of vengeance.

Now those who fully understand you...they are your inner circle. The best of them would become your "muse". I think everyone should have a muse... As in, someone to inspire them to loosen up whatever mental muck that clogs your engine. You see...there's no such thing as a talentless person. We all have some inner gift we can cultivate if we explore our minds and take inventory of our prowess. Not all talents are hidden in the arts, so it's not about who's the best artist or writer or singer. It could be in math or the sciences or something physical or athletic that sets you apart from others. A true muse type friend can see the potentials you can't and help point them out to you, as there are times we just can't see that talent that could lead to personal greatness. These are the muses that can point out our skills as well as our faults. Like the line from the song from the musical "Mame"; "Who else but a bosom buddy, can tell you how rotten you are?"

Then there comes the occasion where you might do something to upset these muses. In my case, the muse is a more coveted title, for it's a bigger job. In fact this whole project of prophethood is a huge job. So much so, it overtaxes friendships and even worse, museships. I've pissed mine off. If you've perused some of the comments here, you may have seen some sarcastically signed by "nonmuse" or "out of work muse". Ok... That ones mine. Now there in lies the problem. Our odd relationship has never been understood. Yes, my muse has been my best friend for many years (I won't divulge numbers for several reasons). They have been my room mate for about 7 of them, though. Yes we live on separate sides of the house. No, though she is female, we don't sleep together.

Now, I admit, I'm not an easy person to get along with at times. Sometimes, moody or broody or
silly or nonsense filled, my moods fluctuate. Sometimes, I admit, I do things rather un-prophet-like. Worse yet, if I get frustrated over project related stresses. I may lose my sense of self and become unruly, pushy, snotty, rude or even worse...mean.

I'm sorry,(non)muse. I should not be so weak to openly succumb to stress related mental abuse of friends. It's been a struggle with my moods as of late. I could really use you back on the team to help ground and center me. As you know, I've not always been like this. I should be better with pressure, and as the days march on, slowly I will melt away all the bad cancerous defects that marr my personality.

Muse, you've helped me to realize my potential, see the error in my ways, to begin regaining my sense of self worth, esteem and worldliness. You've believed in me so far as but a scant few have. You've helped my reshape this human clay into something that almost looks like a prophet. You've reminded me of the traits now buried that need resurfacing,that were the reasons this mission was bestowed upon me in the first place. For these things, I thank you. I don't want to let you down with the work we've done so far. I truly appreciate it.

I know I may have taken your insight for granted, and for that I publicly apologize. I could not see my detrimental actions both to you and to others in general. In the future, I look forward to a more polished me. One that you, the inner circle and even my family may be proud of...even if the religious right hate me.

To my non-muse/muse and my dearest friends... Happy Holidays to you all!

Posted by at December 17, 2004 04:55 PM | TrackBack