June 27, 2004

The Rite of Ascension

::Darkstar heaves a heavy sigh::

Well, the Rite of Ascension is at hand... That's right, I'm turning another year older tomorrow. No pomp. No circumstance. None needed. Anton LaVey said that there is no better holiday than ones own birthday. A day to celebrate ones arrival into this plane. In some ways he said one should be as a god for that day. Only I'm not playing god this year. I've decided to go the reverse route. I've done the party 'til death route way too many times. I've been naughty, debaucherous, cantankerous... But when I think about that...where did it get me?
If I AM to try god treatment...it should be more of spiritual contact with the gods that guide my hands.

Alas, I think...I shall try it a different way. The ethereal way. Time to harness the energies of my birth stars and planetary alignments...

Better yet... A time to reflect on victories and failures.

I know my failures... So far, I make a lousy prophet. But that should change soon. I blew bootcamp. My biggest mistake was trying to set time limits. This causes waste. Goals are ok...but limits cause problems. I DO waste time, I admit it. I have been staring at Fantom like it's an alien being. It's manual reads like the flight manual to a stealth bomber.

Somewhere in between victory and failure is the retake of the movie shoot. Sure, this time I got my hands in it more. I looked at the takes to make sure the camera angle didn't produce that "turtle head" effect. I made sure I looked a bit better and that the outfit was a bit more flattering. But it's still a tongue in cheek representation of all things D'Sari. Although I would have hoped to weigh a little less, it didn't come out that bad. One day I may post a few shots from the shoot.

Victory wise, at least I did something interesting. I wrote a new song called "Conundrum" which is possibly my most prolific work yet...only I can't think of the music for it. I have a battle plan...I really do. I really do project that the end of this year will be the major change in life. I believe that this whole project is a gun... it's the bullets that need to be produced. How well I aim and fire this gun represents my psyche to properly hit my target.

I have a new logo that's being debated on with the web designer. As I posted before, that was a sample. Another version without the eyeballs exists. That may be the better way to go. Not so obvious, yet subtle.

I was planning a trip...an overnighter of musicianship up at the bands place. Like a cram and jam session...I would like to belt out Consecrate fast. It needs to be extracted from my brain. I get plagued by these songs....like they HAVE to be born or I get real ...odd.

Oddity...maybe that's a synonym for frustrated. Most frustration needs release.... I suppose it will soon be time to have a musical eargasm.

My thoughts are fragmented as of late...direction is off. I have no muse at the moment and that's a HUGE problem. A prophet needs it's oracle and it's partners/disciples/apostles.... Whatever you want to call it, I don't have it. No support team. So there's another task... Go get some.

That's what I want for my birthday (besides a finished website), the clarity and strength to pull this off. The will to go out and find my core inner circle....my D'Sari Knights.

Posted by at June 27, 2004 04:58 PM | TrackBack