Boot Camp. Who the Hell was I fooling? I have not nearly the discipline to make a success of it. I've been lazy. I've been trying to work on a song I'm not yet qualified to create with schedules that just don't mesh with the parties involved. Too many personal things are affecting that production. Couple that with the fact that my muse has once again quit on me, I'm floundering from lack of guidance. "Killer Tune" may very well be an incredibly intense song, but it should in no way detract from my ability to sign a record deal whether it was included in the demo project or not. I have an opportunity to work with an few people that will work for fractions of the costs needed. I think they do this because they believe in me, my project, my mission and my message. Since several of my songs are far more simple to produce than "Killer Tune", this will afford me the chance to make about 3 more good demo's to add to the project rather quickly, while I gain the experience with Paris and Fantom to put together the grand scheme of "Killer Tune".
"Consecrate, Anthem Of The Athame" will move into the spotlight as the new hot song project to truly test the capabilities of Fantom in it's first outing into the studio. It's the simplest song to do musically, even though it is a very emotional, raw, raucous tune that rallies the masses.
I've rewritten the lyrics to "We are the quiet ones" recently. The original version had very silly playful lyrics, which eventually I may record them as a "B" side/alternate version. The new lyrics are far more serious, brooding and more in scheme with the projects direction. A new bassline for the song plagues me daily.
The formerly abandoned "Godless" may resurface, dusted off and freshened up, with an all new ending more relevant to real world issues.
I'll be starting those immediately. I will be in contact with the new development team to arrange times to record.
I have many personal issues to work on to get my house in order.
My muse quit. Y'know how hard it is to find one of those? I really need to try to find a way to get the muse back.Muses are hard to come by. Especially ones that can fathom what the project is all about. It's not about the money you know. It's about unification of people through their sorrow. Misery loves company...but as a whole, that company can be quite a force to be reckoned with. So much energy wasted out there... If they only knew the power...
I have to find musicians to possibly begin touring with as a band (although I have my reservations on that). This means trolling about to find places where they migrate in packs. Like a hunter, I must go out into the wild again, something I've not done in years, and hunt for my Twiggy Ramirez or my Jim Steinman or perhaps my own entire Funkadelic.
I need to find the musical muse... Different from the lost psyche-muse who tries to help me keep my head out of the clouds and the blinders on, this is the one who will polish the rough diamond I hand them.
I need to select my cabinet. That inner circle of of advisors and confidantes with whom I can entrust my missions success too.
Y'know how hard it is to tell someone what your underlying mission is? No one understands it, while others feel it so far-fetched. But short of people thinking me totally batty, that's what it's all about. There will be ridicule. There will be scoffing and disbelief. Fine. The path to endarkenment is not an easy one.
I need to refine my mind, body and spirit. This was what boot camp was meant for. However, that has seemingly failed. I must start again. This time, the timing is shorter.
I need to get 2-3 more songs done, get the 3-4 mastered in total (after tweaking "Darkside"). I then need to begin contacting my cultivated contacts and lawyers.
I'll need to work with the Webkitten on a heavy overhaul of this website. It may end up with another dark star logo. I'll need to get the mp3's streamed without the possibility of being ripped and shared on Kazaa.
I'll need to take all new current pictures and headshots with the new stage wear and image gear.
CRAP! I have allot to do. I'm shooting for an October release, yet it may get pushed to December. I'm chasing my tail and time at the same time.
Allot of the personal issues in my life are dragging me down. My wrecked car/resurrection situation, the lack of freedom without the car, funding for the music, my present health, my lethargic attitude and lazy drive, my mental state, the relationship I have with my house mate and the strife's that come along with it. You'd think I should explode right here. But I'm a fighter in the end. I have a mission and it must be completed before all the opportunities afforded me are dashed away. These are the tests that the forces I serve cast upon me to test my mettle. Surviving these, means I can handle the burdens they will bring me to bear.
Posted by at May 23, 2004 01:12 PM | TrackBack